Why me, God?
As I pray this morning this question pops in my mind and just as quickly pops the answer. "I chose you so that you can give hope and encouragement to those around you in family and friends, and to point them to me." Suddenly a flood of images pour through my mind. My childhood friends, so many in my family afflicted with so many things, my brothers who are gripped with many addictions and issues, the girl I counseled in my dorm room who was being forced into an abortion, the people I have laid hands on and prayed with over the years, the hair dresser who confided in me about being raped, my own mother who lives with physical and emotional pain every single day, my friend who wants to end her own life to get away from the pain of this life, hurting neighbors, all the friends who have come through my life over the past twenty some years. There are so many hurting people that He has put in my path and He keeps in my life so that I can point them to Him and offer them encouragement and hope.
I can remember in grade school walking home with a girl who didn't like me very much and we ended up getting into an argument. She hit me with "you're a nobody, so just leave me alone." Ouch, that hurt, but what I remember most about that snit was that I screamed back at her, "oh yea, well GOD loves me so I don't care what you think!" That was well before I became a saved Christian and before I really remember attending church regularly. I know now that God was always with me, but I must have had enough awareness of him then to pull that out of myself in a heated childhood argument instead of bursting into tears on the scene.
Now that I take a look back through my life I CAN see how God has interceded and used me. I have sinned a'plenty in my days too and needed much forgiveness from people and from Him, but because of Christ's blood covering those sins I don't look back and see those, and the Bible says neither does He. When He forgives, He forgets. How wonderful is that!? Not only do we receive His grace and mercy, but He also takes his "magic eraser" and wipes it all so clean that it never was in His mind. Okay, so Christy? What's this Judgement Day all about then? Ah-ha...that is bigger discussion for another day. That's way more digging into Scriptures than I have time for this morning. My kids will be up in less than half an hour! However, I will say that that day is not about judging our sins, our sins were judged and laid on Christ up on Calvary. Judgement Day about judging what we did for Christ while we are here on Earth. Everything we did will be laid on the altar in Heaven and a holy fire will consume our "heap of life" and only those things truly done for Christ will remain through the fire. What's left there on the altar is what we have to lay before our King and the weeping will be because many of us will see that so much of our time was wasted on ourselves and other empty things. But then tears will be wiped away and the Bride will be joined with her Bridegroom and the greatest marriage and feast in all of eternity will commence! Oh what a glorious, joyful day! I can't wait!!!
So, as I go forward today and tomorrow and Friday after these forty days...may my days continue to be full of Him and full of pursuing tasks that will remain through the holy fire. No matter what lays before me, may I do it with the remembrance that I was spared and chosen to bring hope and encouragement to the lost and the hurting.
Here is a Psalm of Hope that encouraged me this morning:
Psalm 25
A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, I give my life to you.2 I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
3 No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
4 Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
6 Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
8 The Lord is good and does what is right;
he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
9 He leads the humble in doing right,
teaching them his way.
10 The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
11 For the honor of your name, O Lord,
forgive my many, many sins.
12 Who are those who fear the Lord?
He will show them the path they should choose.
13 They will live in prosperity,
and their children will inherit the land.
14 The Lord is a friend to those who fear him.
He teaches them his covenant.
15 My eyes are always on the Lord,
for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies.
16 Turn to me and have mercy,
for I am alone and in deep distress.
17 My problems go from bad to worse.
Oh, save me from them all!
18 Feel my pain and see my trouble.
Forgive all my sins.
19 See how many enemies I have
and how viciously they hate me!
20 Protect me! Rescue my life from them!
Do not let me be disgraced, for in you I take refuge.
21 May integrity and honesty protect me,
for I put my hope in you.
22 O God, ransom Israel
from all its troubles.
