Monday, October 5, 2009

Motherhood is Socially Degrading Me

I've been out of the full time workplace for four years now and I've recently noticed that I've lost a good chunk of my professional and courteous social graces. While walking through the church hallway yesterday I actually had to tell myself "Christy, we do not pass gas in public" and then hold it. Four years ago, this was an understood thing and my body knew it without being told. Today as I putz around the house with three kids who just blow it out whenever their bodies feel the urge, I'm sad to say that I've fallen lax and joined right in. Someone will fart anywhere in the house and I'll answer them on pitch or with one that says "BEAT THAT!" What? Like you don't do that.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to poop in a multi-stall public bathroom with the possibility of other adults hearing me. That is a MAJOR thing I do not miss about being in the workplace. I like my own bathroom, my own tissue, my own reachable plunger, my own awesome Bath and Body Works privacy. Although, after all these years of doing my business with one or more of my own children banging on the door, flicking skinny toys under the door or having to hold the vanity door shut with both feet to keep the baby from playing in my make-up, hairspray and feminine products...I'm not sure I'd be completely comfortable doing it without them. Apparently I'm codependent now.