The Autumnal Beat of My Heart

I can feel Autumn tapping me on the shoulder. It's beginning to be crisp in the mornings, hot hot at the midday sun and just so perfect in the evenings. The school supplies are MOSTLY bought, backpacks set up and ready to go and I attended my first school orientation meeting last night. It's really here...time for school! Four more days until I send my eldest to her first day of Fourth grade and I walk my middle child through his first day of Kindergarten. Oh, be still my heart!

I can't imagine that I'll be that weepy mommy on the first day of Kindergarten with Zach, but then again I just about choked up when the principal gave his sappy speech about all the first milestones of a Kindergartner last night. So who knows! I'm excited for him to go and enjoy learning with new friends and a couple old ones. I'm excited for him to grow up a little bit more, but at the same time...I looked at him last night playing out front in his size 5/6 shirt and pants and really saw how tall he's getting and how big his feet are. Good grief! My little baby boy is actually growing up into a little guy. My heart fluttered a little in my chest and I could suddenly see miles down the road when he will rather NOT be around his parents and will prefer to seek solace with friends and girls. Ugh...and that made my heart ache a little. As much as I complain around here that I never get a moments peace with all the chaos and kids, they are my life right now and for the last so many years. They are my reason for being here at home and I suddenly want to corral them all three, my husband and my dog into a safe nest and become a hoarder. A hoarder of my family. I want to clutch them to myself and provide what they need and be the source of home for them. I desire for them to find refuge here and for THEM to desire home.

And while these feelings are stirring up inside and swirling around like a pot of home-cooked chili that would hope to bring us together, I know that "out there" is where the testing grounds are and where the rubber meets the road for them all. I can only huddle them in for a little while longer, but I hope that as they grow up they always know (even through those teenage years I hear nothing great about) that their parents deeply love each other, deeply love them and that home is always a safe, loving place where they can come and not be condemned.

Wow, did I digress! Oh yea, I remember what I was saying before...Autumn. Yes, this IS my favorite time of year and I look forward to it as a child looks forward to Christmas morning. I cannot wait for floppy sweatshirts, socks, hay rides, apple picking, Harvest parties at school, carving jack-o-laterns, mmmm...warm and delicious Fall treats like chocolate chip pumpkin muffins and ooey, gooey caramel corn. I eagerly anticipate our family and friends coming over to sit around our fire pit and enjoying warm beverages. I love watching the leaves change into firey reds, deep pulses of burgandy, bright oranges and yellow ochre that screams Bob Ross. I so adore walking through the woods with the crunchy leaves scattered around on the ground and the Autumn rainbow of colors overhead. Even the air smells great in Autumn! Homes begin to smell like fireplaces, cinnamon, apples and sugar cookies. We have to get extra Kleenex out because our noses get colder and need wiped more, especially the kids. Let's just ignore all the schoolhouse induced colds that might come our way and stay in the zone here. ;) Ahh yes, I love fresh socks on all my kids too. There is just SOMETHING about putting fresh, clean socks on six ever growing feet and knowing their toes are warm and cozy! Robes and slippers, Trick or Treat, raking leaves and jumping in them, sweaters, cold mornings and warm afternoons, earthy colored Mums, anticipation of Turkey Day...where does the wonderful list end!?!?

My heart is alight with fresh anticipation of the coming months, Friends! May the Lord bless the road before my family and may He ALWAYS be the center of all these wonderful things.