Poo Dunnit?

It's a nice leisurely Sunday morning. I have my two cups of cinnamon spiked coffee (yea, that's my new thing...a dash of cinnamon in my grounds before the brew) while sitting on the couch. I realized I'm gonna miss the first service at church and decide to make the most of the morning by cleaning out my junk drawer, clearing off the kitchen sink window ledge and shaving Max, our old fart of a poodle. Oh yea, baby...leisure turned into git 'er done!

I get all this done, hop in the shower and get us moving out the door for eleven o'clock service. Scott got the kids in the car for me, while I finished getting myself together, and when I finally jumped in I smelled something like vomit. I said "eew, what is that smell!?" and looked over to see two seven inch long BIG turds on the floor of the passenger seat!!! UGH! GROSS!!

I jumped clear out of the van, but the poor kids are strapped in and screeching at me, bug eyed, to tell them what kind of monster is left in the van with them. Of course by this time Scott had gone ahead for work, so I had to put on my big girl panties and clean it up myself. Nasty. I have a habit of leaving my sliding door open on the van and here recently the raccoons have been coming in our garage foraging for food (which really translates into tipping over the trash cans, scratching the bags open and spreading the rotten garbage all over the floor as a buffet.) Well, I guess yesterday one had to take a big ol' poopie while he was attempting to steal whatever stale french fry or animal cracker he could find under the carseats and thought "eh, this nice vanilla coconut smelling van looks like a good spot!"

Listen, I'm all for live and let live and I don't even own a gun YET. But at this point, my motto is now gonna be: He who takes a poo in my van has stepped over the line into "I'm gonna pop a cap in yo furry raccoon tail if I see you in there again" territory.

Stupid raccoons. I once thought they were cute. I even overlooked having to clean up my own garbage they clawed apart. I also tried to overlook the night they woke us up at 2am knocking over the trash cans while trapped inside the garage. But this? This is the last straw. I'm heading over to google how to go to war against raccoons.