So, if you're on my Facebook you know that my family has been going through quite a bit. With the business being run from our home as of last June, our house has been busy and bustling away. But recently my dear husband has discovered that he has a very large kidney stone in one kidney (that had him wracked with unimaginable pain and vomiting for nearly a week ending in a several day hospital stay) and another about half the size in his other kidney. And then right after we get him semi-settled and pain-free my dear eldest daughter turned a wrong corner and is dealing with severe abdominal pains, vomiting and diarrhea. We tried to let it take it's course, thinking it might be a bug, but after a full week of resting and no relief, we went to the doctor. That began a battery of testing for her as well.
All this on top of coordinating every day life in the Baker household and juggling my other weekly responsibilities. This Momma was getting a little exhausted to say the least. After going to an overnight retreat that I spoke of in the last post I am so happy with how I've been handling all the juggling. It's no longer juggling and looking for others to say "Great job! Bravo! Encore!" It's now me juggling with a rested center, eyes looking up at the Creator and saying "Thank you, Father, for creating and growing me into this amazing wife and mother who can manage all of these things, and still have more than enough to give to each of my children and husband as they need me emotionally and spiritually." I realize now...I'm no longer striving to be that Proverbs 31 woman. I AM her. I'm not trying to look like her anymore. I look totally different on the outside and I have different loves, stressors, goals, desires, etc...but inside, she and I are made of the same strong stuff and we go to the very same unquenchable source that is Jesus and the Father.This makes me very happy today. But you know what else makes this a happy day??? I get emails from our health provider that updates me with our account information (what we owe, etc.) and you KNOW they've been sending me emails daily, if not twice a day to update me. Each time I've looked and the amount we owe is higher than before, up unto $25,000+. Talk about DEFLATING!! Ugh. Well this morning I had an email from them
and I expected the same thing, a higher amount or at least for it to say "your insurance has paid all that it will pay and this is what you owe. Your right arm and leg should cover a portion of it." Doesn't it feel that way? Especially when you are self-insured. But today, my friends. Today, it said "your insurance has paid nearly all of the amount and here is the fragment you owe." AHHHHHHH! BIG RELIEF! Thank you, Jesus! So I run in and tell my dear husband who comes in to check it out with his own eyes and I said "couldn't you cry!?" to which he says "I just prayed about this in the shower."**beaming from ear to ear** Seriously, I ask you, how much more can a woman ask for!?
2 comments:
Christy...that is such a blessing!! I probably would've cried!! You are such an amazing mother I def. Know the feeling when you are over worked and then kids are not listening or you have a lot of running around an very little time!! Being a mother is such a hard job but also the most rewarding!! I can't speak of being a wife but I'm sure your great at that!! God is good!! Your awesome!!
Thanks, my dear, I know SO many know exactly how it feels to run ragged and half the time we are running for the wrong reasons. When we HEAR God say "You are my daughter and I am PLEASED WITH YOU, no matter what" (or for me it was "You are my daughter and I WILL NOT FAIL YOU") then it releases the pressure to perform to standards that aren't meant for us. When we are affirmed by Him then no one else's affirmation is necessary. And when that is true then we are free to be in relationships that are healthy bc we aren't trying to GET r PROVE something that they can't give (whether it's kids or boyfriend or friends or spouse or bosses.) God has spoken this to me SO many times in my relationship with my husband but this concept really went to the core recently, down to my core fears and Jesus is healing them. Frickin' YES! And God has taken me from death and pain and what seemed like hopelessness at time, and you know where I came from. I could so easily sit in my own sins and blame everyone else for my problems, but I've heard God speak to me and he has greater things for me to do! He wants greater things for my children and my husband and those I pour into. And he wants to do that for ALL His children. There's enough Grace, Healing and fatherly attention for everyone. Pretty freakin' cool, if you ask me. :)
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