Babysitter Blues

Okay, so LAST week before all the Christmas and Senor Strep Throat rushed through my life I had an idea that I might want to get out by myself after Christmas and while I still had all three kids by myself at home. SO in a smarty moment I was having I texted the babysitter (that's what you do nowadays with these crazy teens!) to see if she'd be available. I get an immediate response of "absolutely! I love your kids! (uh huh) I'm completely open while on vacation, so call me."

So, here I am on day 11 of the 16 day Christmas Break and all a girl wants is to go get her eyebrows and Fu Manchu waxed sans children, right? Right. I pick up the celly and text the sitter to see if she's available and go figure...she's too busy for me. *clawing my cheeks* COME ON! Srsly!? I pre-texted you and everything. (mental note: stop spiffing the babysitter's nightly income)

Where's The Babysitters Club when you need 'em!?

100 Things About Me (that you may or may not care to know)

1. I'm not a natural red head. Nope, dirty blonde. Let the jokes roll.

2. I paint my toenails regularly but never do my fingernails. Why put the effort in when it'll be chipped or smudged in half an hour.

3. I've only been in love once and I married him.

4. I could eat pancakes, pizza and Cool Ranch Doritos everyday and never get tired of them.

5. I do not like to wait and HATE to be late.

6. I now really feel God when I'm reading the Bible. I didn't use to. It use to be like reading the phone book. I'd read, compute and put it down. Now though, I feel it. It lives for me.

7. I lick the Dorito powder off and throw the chip away. I know, it's gross, but I love it.

8. I have a geographic tongue and it really gets bad when I eat a lot of sugar. No, I won't show you.

9. I don't wear high heels anymore. My man is a head shorter than me, which is distracting enough for people. Adding three more inches is just redundant and asking for it.

10. I have three tattoos. I got the first one when I was seventeen (a rose), had it covered with a bigger sunflower while in college and then the third one a year later (a sleeping blue moon.) There is no significance to any of them.

11. I love to run. I dream about running at superhuman speed and bounding over really tall things.

12. I feel things in my dreams. I often dream of being shot and can feel the bullets hitting me.


13. I'm terrified of spiders. It's a fear that was transferred to me from my mom and so I REALLY try not to pass that on to my kids. Inside though, I'm a quivering mess of jelly.

14. I once read in a Ramona Quimby book about her squeezing out an entire tube of toothpaste and have always wanted to do it.

15. I realized that my daughter's spirit SOARS when she is hiking. I can sense her joy in the wilderness. It's amazing to me.

16. Talking about poo or toots makes me laugh hysterically, so does watching people get hurt. It's sick.

17. I've peed my pants numerous times while laughing, once when I was scared at a haunted house. I was seventeen! I hope that's not a glimpse of things to come.

18. Coffee is a passion of mine. It's soooo comforting.

19. I love to sleep in when I can. My back, however, does not like it at all.

20. I still have the Nike tag I cut out of my husband's t-shirt for him back when we were first dating.

21. I also still have all the pregnancy test that came out positive for my children.

22. My van is a constant mess. There is usually animal crackers and school papers littering the floor and I'm always grossed out and embarrassed when I move the carseats to find a heaping pile of food crumbs, stale french fries and fruit snacks. Minivans should come with mini vacuums installed. Hello!?

23. A raccoon pooped in my van.

24. I will not be leaving my van doors open while in the garage anymore.


25. I never had a single thought about being fat until I went to college and heard about the "Freshman Fifteen" and I've thought I was fat every day since. Thanks a lot Kent State.

26. I had my own personal toilet in my residence dorm at Kent. It was on the abandoned first floor of the building. It smelled bad and was never cleaned that I knew of, but it was private and yes, I would fly down three flights of steps at whatever time day or night to go be by myself to #2.


27. I am SO glad to be done having babies. I have three and enjoy them as much as possible. I do NOT miss them being babies and look forward to their birthdays every year as I watch them grow into themselves. I feel a little guilty about it and the fact that I LONG for retirement with my husband, just so we can be alone.

28. Dang, it's hard to think of 100 things about myself.

29. I despise doing laundry.

30. I enjoy mowing the lawn.

31. I want to see the Eiffel Tower in person and sit in a French cafe quietly sipping coffee.


32. My favorite movies are: Titanic, Shawshank Redemption, Tombstone, The Color Purple, The Passion of the Christ.

33. I ate a cinnamon scented candle when I was about nine years old and had diarhea for two days.

34. My mom and dad were never married, both have other children but I'm an only child between them.


35. I will never own another cat. I now despise cats. Our neighbors cats have scratched our cars and peed in our garage and taunted our dogs. I'm over them. No more cats. Down with the cats.


36. I'm a Libra, but never check my horoscope.


37. I'm a natural blonde but have colored my hair red since I was thirteen. Shoot, I said that one before. Oh well. Bears repeating.

38. I'm not witty. My mother has very quick, sharp wit but it skipped me somehow. I always think of what I should have said way after the conversation.

39. I do not like canned fruit, especially peaches. Bleck.

40. I'll eat most vegetables though, canned or fresh, except hominy, spinach and mushrooms.

41. I don't mind confrontation, but I only go at it when I really have to now. As a younger woman any perceived injustice would set me in fighting mode, but I've realized that it's not a godly manner to always be ready for a fight.

42. I really enjoy reading.

43. I married into a family that I always wished I had growing up and it excites me to think that my kids will have them as they grow.

44. It really irritates me when women my age or younger call me "sweetie", "baby/babe" or "honey." I mean REALLY irritates me. It also bothers me when the cashier asks for my ID and I really don't know why. They are just doing their job, nothing personal.

45. I do occassionally drink, but hardly at all anymore. It makes me too tired, so what's the point?



46. I have three brothers and no sisters. Only one of my brothers has never been in jail. The other two keep bunks on hold.



47. I agree with whoever said that cleaning house with children in it is like shoveling snow in a blizzard. Fruitless.



48. I work as a dispatcher for a local cable company. It's good work and only one day a week, so no complaints.



49. I do not enjoy cooking...baking, maybe. Cooking, not so much. I definitely do NOT enjoy menu planning either. Something in my brain won't allow me to follow through with it. It's like as soon as I commit to a weekly menu I get all claustraphobic and must deviate. Why is THAT? I wanna plan, I wanna know what we're eating and it makes sense and spends less money, but I just cannot do it.



50. I weigh 16 pounds more now than when I was married. I'd love to lose all 16!!



51. I have a Jack LaLanne Juicer and REALLY like using it.



52. If given the opportunity, I'd move to another state or country.



53. Warm, Sunny and Beachy is my ideal vacay.



54. I've never been to the Pacific coast, but hope to.



55. I could see myself going on a vacation all alone and enjoying it immensely. I do not fear being alone, but prefer company.



56. My hair falls out and clogs the shower drain and vaccum. It's super annoying and I do not doubt that my girls' hair issues have something to do with me.



57. I do not react well to criticism, but if given a small amount of time to think about it...I really do take it in, evaluate and apply it if necessary.



58. I love Oreos and milk.



59. I listen to all kinda of music...Top 40's, Old Country, some Classical, Oldies I love.



60. I can sit very still for a very long time although I very rarely ever do.



61. I miss working in a fast paced corporate atmosphere...lunchdates, deadlines, contacts.



62. I believe God knows what is best for me though and do my best to rest in this choice of being an at-home mother.



63. When I get the chance I kneel down wherever I am in my house and give honor to God. He has loved me so well and saved me from myself and a much harder life...not to mention that whole eternally separated from Him thing. *shutter* I grieve to think of those who will remain lost forever.



64. I don't like myself when I get overwhelmed with kids, housework and the chaos of my life. Every time I try not to let it blow, but it ineveitably does. I desire continual order, cleanliness and control...none of which are possible for ME in a house with three small children and two dogs. I just do the best I can to keep up!



65. I hope to be Raptured!



66. I like looking at artwork and creating some of my own. I really enjoyed drawing, painting and ceramics in high school and had some talent. It has diminished over the years to due not using the talent, but I'd like to redevelop it later in life.



67. I played violin for a few years in grade school and never lost the love for it. It's another thing I'd like to redevelop as time would allow.



68. I HAVE developed a great love for God's Word and not only enjoy reading it, but also weep while doing so at times. It's pretty magical really and I feel for people who say they can't "get it" or don't want to read it. I wish that everyone could feel the way I do about it.



69. Scott and I eat chocolate chip yogurt milkshakes several times a week, at night after the kids go to bed. It's "our time" and we covet it.



70. I fight the urge many nights to run across my back yard and throw dried corn at my neighbor's bedroom window. If I have to listen to their barking dog from 11pm to 2-3am...then they need to be awake too. It's only fair.



71. I am a very loyal and forgiving person. If I befriend you, it will take quite a bit of punishment and hurt before I'll turn my back on you. I expect the same in return though.

72. I love, love, love to bless people financially when we can...or to give them something they've needed.

73. I'm a pretty direct person and live my life like an open book. I try to remember that most people are not this way but often stick my foot in my mouth.

74. I wish my Dad and I lived closer. If we could just relocate Wyoming to where Indiana is, that'd be awesome. Actually, if we could just get it into a spot where the airport terminal wasn't SO danged expensive that'd be pretty near awesome. It shouldn't cost $700 to fly anywhere in the US. Europeans travel all over their countries for less than that. Ridiculous.

75. I wear make up nearly every single day of the year. It's necessary...I'm a little scary looking without it. Which reminds me, how rude is it for paparazzi to take snapshots of stars without make-up and splash it across a magazine cover. How would they like it if someone shot a pic of THEIR dimpley buttcheeks and put it on a billboard? I always feel sorry for these starlets. I mean come on, the average woman doesn't believe that these stars ACTUALLY walk around looking magnificent and screen ready all day every day. Come on. Give 'em a break.

76. I am not sure there are 24 more things about me. What else is there that you need to know!?

77. Our checkbook is hardly ever balanced. That drives my husband nuts.

78. I leave clothes in the washer and dryer accidentally. That drives him nuts too.

79. I use to steal things when I was very young. I quit when my future step-sister (who was much older and cooler than I was) found out that I took something small from her. It embarrassed me so badly I never did it again. Okay, okay, the occassional pen from work, but that's it. Scouts honor.

80. I'm so ready for another vacation with my husband...I'll even take my kids this time. I just need to get away from cold Ohio and the daily grind of cleaning up messes and paying bills.

81. I think if God gave me the lottery...I'd really spoil myself and ALL of my family. I'd also go around helping people every chance I got. Money doesn't buy happiness but it does make life easier.

82. My baby girl has strep throat right now and I wish I could take it away from her. :(

83. I have learned a lot from my mother's mistakes and successes, and pray that all the mistakes I see as huge in my mothering will make my children even better parents than Scott and I.

84. Love the smell of roses, fresh laundry from the dryer, my husband's t-shirts and coffee brewing.

85. I like to write, text, Facebook and IM.

86. I use to enjoy talking on the phone but after so many years of competing with the noise level in my house it's just easier to type out what I want to say than say it. I always feel bad for the people who call me. Someday I'll be able to talk on the phone in peace, but not now.

87. I'm wearing black sweatpants, a bright blue Kent State t-shirt and a pink ballcap to work today. Sooo comfy and casual here.

88. I'd rather be sleeping right now.

89. I have hypothryoidism. Hot, right!?

90. This is really waaay too much information for you all, I think. But dang it, I have ten more to go. I can eek out ten more things about myself. Come on, Christy!!

91. I put both socks on and then both shoes, not one sock, one shoe at a time.

92. I DO NOT have that weird thing about having to have my sock seam straight or not touching my toes wrong. I, however, CANNOT eat crunchy tacos b/c the shell ineveitably cracks and makes a mess of the filling. Thank God for soft tacos.

93. I need to step it up at home and start making goals for myself around the house. Just need some accoutability there. It's not cool for me to be home all week and still have mountains of laundry and things left undone all over the place. I can reasonably kick it into gear and do better. It will be one of my 2010 goals.

94. I have never had a close encounter of the alien kind.

95. I do wonder though about the spiritual realm and how much our friends and family who have passed encounter with us, if they do at all. I find that John Edwards really fascinating.

96. If I could talk to someone who passed that I knew...it would probably be my Grandma Francis. I never knew her since she died when I was 3 or 4 years old, but the family all loved her so.

97. If I died today, I'd have to say that I have lived a good life and would die happy and reaching out for Jesus' hand!

98. I like almost all condiments.

99. I'm feeling pressured that number 100 should be a real zinger, but am drawing a blank.

100. I'm done filling out 100 things about myself, am glad about that and I'll bet you are too! :) Hope you know me a little better now though!

Hello?

Hey, remember me!? Yep - I'm still here it's just been a very long break from writing!

Life has been happening so fast around me and I'm doing my best to keep up with it all. Three kids, two in school, one littlest one who is my mini shadow, two dogs (one of which is a puppy), keeping up (or not) with the housework and calendar commitments and now Christmas too. Phew! I'm pooped out and ready for a vacation.

However, I'm not here to complain...I'm here to give you a quick update. Let's see, I'm still working on Saturdays and that has proved to be a wise move on our parts. Over this past year we've just socked my money into the bank each week and this Fall we were able to take all of what I made and maybe a little more and paid off our van...so no car payments anymore! Woohoo! Now we're hoping to somehow pay ahead on the home loans so we can be debt free. We've been doing this a little this year, but now are hoping to send Ab to private Christian school so we have to juggle that money from somewhere. January will be a time of reevaluation of the finances and spending, so we'll see what can be done with what we have.

October was tough because we had to put our little Max down. He was ten plus years old and having a really hard time breathing along with his other chronic health issues, so we decided it was time to let him go. What a rough life experience that was for this old girl! I still call the other dogs AND THE KIDS SOMETIMES by Max's name and feel a little twinge in my heart, but overall we're glad he's at peace and our house doesn't smell like a decaying dog anymore. RIP Max.

November was great! I don't know where it went. It really was a blur! Thanksgiving was here at my house and we had family in from both sides. Good times, good food, good company! 'Nuff said!

December is going just as fast and it's nearly time to take a look at my "Resolutions" from last year, see what all I've done and make a new list of goals. I think one of those should be for me to write more....I miss it. I read my old posts and think "Damn, I'm a good writer. I need to make more time to do this and stay off of Facebook." Facebook really is fun, but it's also a time stealer and a cheap version of relationships. I need to spend more time farming my relationships with friends and family and less on Farmville, more time filling the emotional tanks of my loved ones and less cleaning the tanks on Happy Aquarium. Right? Right.


Time to start the day here already! Merry Christmas to anyone who might still be out there lurking!

Motherhood is Socially Degrading Me

I've been out of the full time workplace for four years now and I've recently noticed that I've lost a good chunk of my professional and courteous social graces. While walking through the church hallway yesterday I actually had to tell myself "Christy, we do not pass gas in public" and then hold it. Four years ago, this was an understood thing and my body knew it without being told. Today as I putz around the house with three kids who just blow it out whenever their bodies feel the urge, I'm sad to say that I've fallen lax and joined right in. Someone will fart anywhere in the house and I'll answer them on pitch or with one that says "BEAT THAT!" What? Like you don't do that.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to poop in a multi-stall public bathroom with the possibility of other adults hearing me. That is a MAJOR thing I do not miss about being in the workplace. I like my own bathroom, my own tissue, my own reachable plunger, my own awesome Bath and Body Works Spray...my privacy. Although, after all these years of doing my business with one or more of my own children banging on the door, flicking skinny toys under the door or having to hold the vanity door shut with both feet to keep the baby from playing in my make-up, hairspray and feminine products...I'm not sure I'd be completely comfortable doing it without them. Apparently I'm codependent now.

Dear Lilly,

Wow. I can hardly believe it's been two years since you rocked into our lives and changed our family forever. It's been a wild ride the whole two years, but I wouldn't change a thing. The morning I saw that pink line appear on the home pregnancy test, I knew life was going to change drastically. I kept thinking, "Oh God...THREE kids!? Are you sure? Can I really handle this?" Your Dad didn't even really believe me when I took him out to dinner that night and slid a note written on the restaurant napkin that said "I'm pregnant." We were both shocked to say the least. :)

And then nine months and fifty pounds of baby blubber later I had had enough and schedule a date for you to come into the world. I know...I'm the epitome of patience. Your birth was the fastest of all three...a record 3.5 hours! I can still remember how heavy and warm you were when they laid you on my chest. Wow...what an amazing feeling! In 3.5 hours I had gone from a wife and mother of two kids to a woman who had just been handed a third child, a second daughter and had no idea what chaos and absolute joy she was about to bring to me and our family.

This past year has been quite interesting, Lilly. We have watched you go from a baby who was unsteady on her feet, waving her arms around like a monkey to keep her balance to a more sure and steadier walker who fell and hit her head a lot and then ZOOM...I think that was Lilly who just flew by me at mach speed! You are by far, my most daring and acrobatic child. You run without a care, you stay right behind Abby and/or Zach in almost everything they do. In fact, this Summer was the first year in Zach's whole life that he'd even get into the pool waist deep and this, your first year of being in the big pool, YOU jumped feet first into the five foot deep end! Does that tell me anything about your bravery? Yes. Yes, it does! You taught yourself how to swing on the swing set this year, just by watching your older siblings get up and go. I've never had to show you or help you get on a swing and you even push and pump yourself. You gave up the highchair this year too. You wanted to be a "big girl" and sit in the regular seats like your sister and brother, so we let you try. However, we had to make a compromise and give you a booster set so that A) you could reach your food and B) you could still be strapped into the seat. Otherwise you jumped up and down at your own will and disrupted dinner too much. Just in the past few months you started sleeping all through the night too! Hooray! I thought the night would never be here after all three of you kids, but it is and I'm SUCH a happier mom for it. Your vocabulary has taken off too. You never seem to want to talk when other people are around so that we can show you off, but dang girl, we are impressed! You can easily tell us what you need/want, what you do NOT want (this is the big word right now, you'll hear this word a lot too as you get older, it's NO!), who took what from you and how you want them to be punished severely for the infraction. Hee hee. Well, okay, you can sort of tell us that. It comes out like this..."Mooooooom, Zachy took dat. He spanken! *wagging finger at Zach* NO! NO! Zachy!" It's too cute really.

*deep sigh*

So Lilly, I just wanted to take a minute out of the crazy life to say how much I love you, how much we ALL love you. God really knew what He was doing when he nestled you down in my womb without my consent and I praise Him for what you've brought to our family as well as what you will bring to Him. I'm sure He looks in on you and marvels at the qualities of Him that He sees in you.

I know you don't really get the concept of a birthday yet, but I hope that today you feel extra special with all the extra hugs, kisses and love you receive from Daddy, Abby, Zach, Grammas and Grampas and all the people who think you are something special...especially your Mommy.

The Scoop

So...yes, it's been over two months since I've posted here. Hold the rotten tomatoes, I have a good excuse! Okay...maybe I don't have a good excuse, but I have an excuse. I'll just say it. I've been cheating. I have a mistress and her name is Facebook. I don't know what the male form of a mistress is, so it stays feminine and you'll just have to understand me. Anyway, I can't get enough of it! Mobwars, Games, Chatting, Updating everyone on every stupid or significant thought I have, what I'm eating, what I'm feeling, what I'm doing...it's SOOO self indulgent. And how fun is it to peek in on all my friends and family to see what THEY are thinking, feeling and doing!? It's like the newest way to keep in touch without actually taking time out of my life for a real, live conversation. It figures the Information Super Highway would find a way to make interpersonal relationships impersonal, right? And yet I'm hooked.

That's not to say that my personal relationships have gone down the toilet while I spend hours massaging my computer. No, no, no. In fact, my life hasn't felt this on track in a long while. My friend Karynda and I started attending a bible study every week, um, last November? When I started meeting with these women I had become a woman that I didn't really recognize anymore. Oh, I was about the same on the outside, but inside I had shriveled and sunk down into myself. I'm sure I blogged about it awhile ago, but it was so apparent to me one Sunday when I sat in church seething while looking at all these young, adorable couples around me. I knew something was really wrong. Thankfully, when I turned my heart back toward the Holy Spirit and asked him to begin the transformation, there was no hesitation. It only took about a month of meeting with these older, godly women who truly loved and prayed for me as a sister and my heart had fully softened again. I was no longer seething and miserable inside, confused and in turmoil about how to go about life with my crazy kids and unorganized life. I was starting to reach up out of the fog and the air was clearer up there. *deep breath* It's refreshing and purifying actually. So "big props" to my main man Jesus and his Holy Spirit who is dwelling and changing and growing and all that good stuff inside of me.

So what's been happening in the Baker household the past few months? Summer's been in full swing here. We were at the pool and playing outside and eating ice cream. We were garage saling, walking around barefoot, having sleepovers and having a TON of lemonade stands at the end of our driveway. We've been vacationing, family reunion-ing, playdating and enjoying our friends. We were working and playing tennis and making financial goals and PAYING OFF OUR VAN, which feels awesome. We were considering moving out of our house and seriously looking into buying a new one, but the two homes we were seriously interested in fell through. We took that as a sign and backed off, deciding to instead take a chunk out of our savings to pay the van off and then make extra payments to the house.

At this point in the Summer we are all exhausted by each other's presence. So much so that I find myself scavaging for any quiet alone time I can. If I get up before the kids do in the morning I feel assaulted if they intrude into my time by waking up early. How dare they, right? The kids are sick of playing with each other and just plain picking on one another. You know that ol' {pointing a finger at the other just an inch away from the face} and saying "I'm not touching you, you doodyhead." Ack! Stop it! "Mom, he's not touching me and being SO annoying." If you not touch your sister again you are going to your room! Get down off the counter! Stop jumping on the couch! SHUT...THE...DOOR!!! Seriously people, I know this is stuff that the everyday mom deals with and it's no more difficult for me than any of them, but oh my gosh, school needs to start as soon as possible. I'm going to have a "Back to School" party for myself on the 24th. Not sure what all that entails, but it's gonna happen. Maybe it'll be a pedicure and coffee, maybe it'll be a Glamour magazine and bag of Hershey Kisses on the couch with no one wallowing all over me. Whatever it is, it's gonna rock to have the kids in school on a regular basis and I want to celebrate a good Summer, which means I didn't kill any of them and they didn't declare mutiny, gag and duct tape us down in the basement.

That's the long and short of the past two months or so. I'm sure that any of you who know us well enough are also following us on Facebook, but I'll try to get the juicy bits of our lives back into this blog. That's something that Facebook can't capture - the in's and out's of the really interesting parts of our life...and there are many!

Be well, Friends!

Blast From The Past

Remember this toy from childhood? I do. I think back when I had one it was called The Mop Top Hair Shop. This one I found at a garage sale today for fifty cents. The original one I played with came with a few holey-headed people, the barber chair that pumped play-doh up into the heads, a plastic pair of scissors and a few hair-do molds. This one comes with two people, the chair and a clipper that supposedly buzzes when it touches the play-doh. Eh, for fifty cents I think it was a good deal, but man, they don't make toys like they use to. I'm sure whomever I bought this from paid at least $10 for this set and it's about worth fifty cents, I think. I couldn't leave it behind though. It'll be something else they can share when we do get the play-doh out instead of the three of them fighting over two play-doh toy sets.

Sleepy Eye

Back when Scott and I actually use to "make out" I'd always come away from the breathless span of kissing with my eyes closed. It was hard to open them again and regain composure, so I'd say that he gave me "sleepy eyes" again. I loved it.

I was taking a few shots of myself the other day because 1) I felt like I need to update my profile picture on Facebook and 2) I felt particularly cute this day, but afterwards had to rethink my definition of "sleepy eyes" for myself.

I sit my camera on the shelf of my cupboard, click the timer, pose, smile and SNAP. Crud. That was an awful one. So I repeat the process a few times. You be quiet, you do it too. I grab the camera and take a look at the shots in horror. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY EYE!? Do I have a lazy eyelid or something!? My left eye (is that my left or yours? Mine, I think.) is totally trying to close on me. Seriously people, I'm not trying to look all seductive OR drugged in this shot. No, THAT'S MY NORMAL EYE SHAPE WHEN I SMILE! Oh you see it, I know you do.









Umm, it's making me feel all weird about myself when I smile now. And how awful too because Scott already tells me that I look "b*tchy" when I'm not smiling, like I need to walk around with a perma-smile on or something. Now when I do smile I realize my one eye is looking like it wants to go to sleep on me.

I think I've read somewhere that one side of your face is dominant and apparently my left side lost the coin toss.

There's absolutely no real, solid, life changing point to this post. I just wanted to share my retarded eye with the rest of the world. You may now go back to whatever was surely more important than this.

Poo Dunnit?

It's a nice leisurely Sunday morning. I have my two cups of cinnamon spiked coffee (yea, that's my new thing...a dash of cinnamon in my grounds before the brew) while sitting on the couch. I realized I'm gonna miss the first service at church and decide to make the most of the morning by cleaning out my junk drawer, clearing off the kitchen sink window ledge and shaving Max, our old fart of a poodle. Oh yea, baby...leisure turned into git 'er done!

I get all this done, hop in the shower and get us moving out the door for eleven o'clock service. Scott got the kids in the car for me, while I finished getting myself together, and when I finally jumped in I smelled something like vomit. I said "eew, what is that smell!?" and looked over to see two seven inch long BIG turds on the floor of the passenger seat!!! UGH! GROSS!!

I jumped clear out of the van, but the poor kids are strapped in and screeching at me, bug eyed, to tell them what kind of monster is left in the van with them. Of course by this time Scott had gone ahead for work, so I had to put on my big girl panties and clean it up myself. Nasty. I have a habit of leaving my sliding door open on the van and here recently the raccoons have been coming in our garage foraging for food (which really translates into tipping over the trash cans, scratching the bags open and spreading the rotten garbage all over the floor as a buffet.) Well, I guess yesterday one had to take a big ol' poopie while he was attempting to steal whatever stale french fry or animal cracker he could find under the carseats and thought "eh, this nice vanilla coconut smelling van looks like a good spot!"

Listen, I'm all for live and let live and I don't even own a gun YET. But at this point, my motto is now gonna be: He who takes a poo in my van has stepped over the line into "I'm gonna pop a cap in yo furry raccoon tail if I see you in there again" territory.

Stupid raccoons. I once thought they were cute. I even overlooked having to clean up my own garbage they clawed apart. I also tried to overlook the night they woke us up at 2am knocking over the trash cans while trapped inside the garage. But this? This is the last straw. I'm heading over to google how to go to war against raccoons.

$50 worth of fun

Last Fall our friend Shawn handed us a Hot Wheels Jeep that his daughters had outgrown. Zach was enamoured with it, but unfortunately the battery it came with was dead. We didn't figure it was worth the money to buy a new battery right then since Winter was impending. So it sat in the garage and then at the side of the house. For the past several months he and the other kids would pull it out, hop in and take turns pushing each other around in it...always hoping it would somehow spark to life and run them around the neighborhood.

So we finally decided we'd just go ahead and get the battery now since Summer is all but here. We went through two big stores and came up empty at both. Must have been a big run on 12v Hot Wheels batteries in Reynoldsburg! I ran into a neighbor today while out and he mentioned a battery store right near us. They wanted a few more dollars for the battery than the superstores, but hey, we got the Jeep for FREE, so what's the big deal in buying the battery, right?

Next to scoring big on the big box of puzzles at Christmastime THIS was the best money spent on Zach. He friggin' loves it! Lilly, God bless her, she was just happy as can be to be the rider and giggle through the whiplash.

It's gonna be a GREAT Summer! I can feel it.

Not Too Bad, If I Do Say So Myself

I was checking back through old posts here while sitting at work. Lucky girl, right, all that time to spend lazily. Not really, just in between mad dashes of installers calling in to complete their jobs. Anyway, I came back to my resolution post and was pretty siked to see that many of them are completed or on their way to completion. Yes!

1.Go on a beach vacation with my hubby (PLANNED FOR JULY!)
2.Run a 5K (or more?) and actually condition so I can have a respectable time (IN PROCESS)
3.Get a tattoo that has some personal meaning (Rethinking this one...stay tuned)
4.Have lunch with Abby at school (DID IT!)
5.Volunteer to do something I have never done before and am uncomfortable with. (DID IT!)
6.Cut down the pizzas and milkshakes (see the lose fifteen pounds) (DID IT!)
7.Actually see Zach fully potty-trained (DID IT! This is my absolute favorite one!)
8.Drink more water and less coffee (starting today) (DID IT!)

Maybe a Little Crazy

So I'll admit it...I'm going a little nuts at home. Our kids and work (housework included) have the both of us white knuckling the edge of our sanity, wondering if there will ever be an end to the chaos. Last night I went out for my daily run and went on my 1.5 mile route. On this particular route I have to pass a house that has an eight pound Jack Russell Terrier whom I've dubbed "the evil punk dog." Yesterday was a particularly hard day for me and about fifteen minutes after Scott got home HE was pushing me out the door to run and relieve some stress. So I jog pass by this house with Evil Punk Dog and I know what's coming. I have to prepare myself because there have been a few times when this little snot has scared me so hard that I nearly wet my pants. Not because he's so vicious or intimidating, but because I have my Mp3 player going on blast and the little shister darts out at me at a Jaguar's pace from behind whatever evil rock or bush he's lurking behind, yiping, snapping and coming within inches of his invisible fence boundaries. Freakin' goober dog. Grrrr! Right back atcha, you little punk!

I know it's not nice of me to think so ill of a cute little dog (he IS cute despite his nasty defensive ankle biting tendancies), but yesterday it took every last ounce of restraint (which wasn't much, trust me) I had not to jump across his invisible line and punt his hairy butt back to the porch with my size nine pink New Balance running shoe. And this is what I've been reduced as a stressed out stay at home mom of three...a crazy lady who was a hair's breath away from kicking a tiny neighborhood dog.

We Have Success!

Praise the Lord! Our Zachary is finally potty trained!

You'll remember that we have been at this whole training deal for a year. When he turned three I pulled out the little potty, the brand new "big boy" Lightening McQueen undies, the reward chart, the stickers, the books, the videos and we went at it. It started out as a sweet mommy trying to teach her little boy the ropes. Oh sweet, sweet mommy who lovingly overlooked the accidents, the refusals to sit on the potty and encouraged him that "he could get it next time." Uh yea, she gave way to witchy, evil, speak through her clenched teeth mommy who threatened him within an inch of his life if he didn't "sit! down! on! that! POTTY! and POOP!"

Oh my heavens, friends, if me NOW could talk to me THEN I'd tell her to just cool it and wait.

Then just a few days before his 4th birthday (note: a whole year later) I caught him upstairs in his room trying to poo in his pants and whisked him straight to the potty. I was trying to cram his stiffened up, screaming body down onto the potty just in hopes of him dropping it in accidentally. Nope, he held it. I didn't care though. I made him sit and sit and sit, crying his eyes out the whole time. I sat crumpled at his feet begging him, threatening him, bribing him and finally, I just laid my head on the side of the tub and prayed out loud. "Lord! Please! Please just help Zach do this. Help him not be scared and to go potty. Please." And, sweet as pie, my little man said "Mom?" I looked up at him defeated and he says to me, "Mom, Jesus said I can get off the potty now." Touche, dude.

So I let him down, refuse to put undies back on him and made him sit on the potty every fifteen minutes as we had been doing for a week or so before. And FINALLY...he did it. I sent him in alone and a few minutes later he sheepishly opened the door and said "I did it." Hee hee!

And God as my witness, this kid has been doing it on his own ever since, every day, sometimes a few times a day. Are you kidding me!? Yay! He just had to decide on his own that he was going to do it and when he did...that's all she wrote. It's like a huge anvil has been lifted off of us. No more poopy pants and he is SO proud of himself. Now I get the extreme privilege of seeing his huge smile every day when he proudly declares he "did it!"

Way to go, Zach! It's just one more thing that proves YOU ARE THE MAN!

A Couple Random Thoughts

1. I love, love, love fresh pineapple. Oh yum-o. I've actually never had it until now b/c I'm not a huge fan of pineapple anyway. I always picked around it in the fruit cocktail. Then a friend at work gave me a slice of hers to taste and wow... we now have it cut and ready each week. I'm making pineapple smoothies with coconut milk for Abby and I. Yum. If you have an Aldi store near by you they carry REALLY sweet pineapples for $1.99.

2. This morning's sunshine is confusing me. It's too bright, too early and it keeps making me feel like I'm behind. We've had grey skies and rain for well, a week or better (seems like a month!) and this bright, sunshiney sunshine is most welcome but oh so strange. It's frickin' freezing outside, but as I look outside I can see plumes of steam dancing upward off of each fence picket and piece of deck furniture. It looks like the wetness is praising God, if you ask me. :)

3. Speaking of God. He shows up at the greatest times. As I'm slurping down my chocolate martini #2 last night I get a ping from a facebook friend and we begin to chat. I'm facebooking, having much needed stress relieving cocktails, listening/watching American Idol and having such a sweet chat with my friend who is telling me all about her praiseworthy experience of losing her first child. She amazed me. I appreciated and soaked in the spiritual maturity of her ability to praise God in the face of such a loss. For her to be able to see and touch her son's copper red hair, his still, porcelain face, feel the amazement that he is and give him and it ALL to God in the same space of time. Wow. Her story touched me so b/c it reminded me that fear, anxiety, loss and pain are not winners. I watch today as my mom goes through misery and torture and wonder, "God, where are you? Why won't you bless her? Why won't you MOVE? She's soo sad and lonely and apart." My friend's story reminds me that He is always there, no matter it be during a celebration or a mourning or anything between...HE...IS...THERE. The heart is the issue. Where is the heart? Is it sucuumbing to the siren call of fear, anxiety, loss and pain or is it broken and open to God.

4. I ran three full miles yesterday! Although I did have to walk a few small portions of it...I'm still proud of myself for making it through. Mile four...here I come!

Abba

That You thought of me, I am humbled. Sin threatened my life like thief with a dagger, but You bore the slash and pain of that dagger, the weight of my sin, the separation that was to be mine.

I watch this video and I cry every time...the whole movie was agony because I knew as I watched that my sin deserved that and You did not. What a gift! What an absolutely beautiful gift that I am embarrassed to say I disregard so many days of my year. I am SO sorry, Father. Forgive me for letting earthly life take precedence over You. I thank you for washing away my sins with one simple prayer and accepting of a free gift. Thank you for taking my nails, my lashes of the whip, my kicks and punches, my crown of thorns and my death and separation from God. It seems so small to even say Thank You for it. Lord, may my life be an offering to You on a daily basis. Change me. Woo me. Call me strongly to be a sold out, all committed servant of the Most High.

I love you.

Runnin' Fool

So I've finished two solid weeks of consistent running. I've been running from 1.5 to 3 miles per day - taking Fridays off. It's actually stressing me out today knowing that it's an "off" day and I need to not run.

I feel awesome though! I am SO proud of myself and can see small results already. I'm not eating as lousy as I was before (can't run on junk fumes or a full stomach), my stomach muscles feel tighter to me and I swear I saw a ripple of muscle on my thigh the other day. Yay! But of course I jump on the scale today and I've freakin' gained a pound!!!! :eek: Uh, not what I wanted to see AT ALL. I know, I know...gaining muscle, speeding the metabolism...weight loss will come eventually...but on a "break" day I definitely did NOT want to see that higher number. I'm trying not to let it settle in my mind and fester.

Tomorrow is suppose to be nicer than today (it's grey and raining all day), so I'm focusing on my morning run and not on today. Tonight is Abby's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese...I will not over-eat and ruin my morning run. :D

Have a great weekend, friends!

Like SO Totally!

Yesterday I met two of my friends that I went to school with when I lived in Bucyrus. I haven't seen them since 1993-94 when my jerk ex-step-dad kicked us out unexpectedly one day and we moved back to Marion. It was such fun seeing them again and how even though our life experiences have changed the way we look a little, we were basically the same girls I remember back as Sophmores in high school.

So I had my yearbook and old pictures out and as Abby is thumbing through and sees me, she says "Um, mom, did you like mean to wear that much make-up? It doesn't look so good." Hee hee. I told her that almost all young girls wear too much make-up and think it still looks good, but that we eventually learn how to apply it properly. And she goes "yea, and your hair was SO high!" I laughed out loud, of course, because she was SO right, but then defended myself and said "THAT was how we ALL wore our hair back then! LOTS of hairspray and really high bangs." I have plenty of pictures to prove it!

I told her when we got home I'd do our hair like we did back then and she reluctantly agreed. I, for one, had a blast doing it. Although, my hair has been out of that kind of shape for so long that it took several teases and several spray, curl, blow dries to get it to stand up. Abby's, however, obeyed like good virgin hair does. I thought she was rockin' the hair, but she just thought it was too retarded for words.

I Feel Robbed

So I decided to make Broccoli Rice Casserole for Abby and I for dinner tonight. I distinctly remember buying this 160z bag of broccoli yesterday, purposefully buying a name brand (which I rarely do anymore) thinking that I'd get more broccoli heads than stems.

I break the bag open just now and take a gander inside. What do I see? Not broccoli heads, that's for sure! Nope, just a crapload of stems and pieces. WTHeck!? I paid full price for name brand to get nothing better than this?

Honestly people, there is ten ounces of stems and pieces here and maybe a cup worth of heads. Dang it! Makes me want to shove it all back in the bag and return it. This is deceitful robbery, if you ask me. I could have bought a whole fresh head of broccoli for this price! Grrr....

Guess it'll be Broccoli Stem and Rice Casserole tonight. *sigh*

A Couple Random Thoughts at 5:00 on a Saturday

1) I went out and bought hair extensions this week. Yep, I did. I thought they'd help me get through this awful hair growing out transition. And in my humble opinion, they look sweet. My hair is still too short though to pull them off, so whatever, screwed again out of a fun fashion item. I swear that's been the story of my non-fashionable life. I've always been on the tail end of every fashion, just when it got less popular and came down in price so the rest of us uncool people could buy the whatever on super sale or the knock-off style at Walmart, Ten Below or some other non-brand store. Same thing with my hair. And now that I have the money to go out and buy the latest fashion things, I'm either to old and fluffy to shop in those stores OR I'm too guilty to spend the money on the stuff.

2. I'm seriously thinking of Googling "voluntary hysterectomy" because (male readers, skip to thought #3) I am SO tired of having a period. Seriously. I started two days ago and now on my third day I am FINALLY having Flo. So okay, day three and that means I'll be riding the tide for at least another five days and then another two for it to wane off and stop. I am SO sick of it. Eighteen years of this crud, vomiting, excruciating pain, blackouts, bleedouts, many, many pain relievers, three kids and a tubal later...I'm done. Take it out. I'm tired of the PMS and twelve plus weeks a year that are stolen from me.

3) I LOVE MY KIDS. Yep, I love the little shisters so much. They are at great ages right now. Abby's gonna be eight in April and she's like having a little sister around more often than not. The NOT being when she is reverts back to be four and picking fights with her little brother or whining at us about how unfair her life is. Anyway...she's become my little running partner and has actually surprised me. I really enjoy running with her and she can keep up for the most part. We're only doing a small mile each time, but she keeps a pace and keeps my mind off of how much I'd rather be sitting on the couch getting fatter. So I've dubbed her my running partner and am seriously thinking about entering the two of us into some fun races this Spring/Summer. How friggin' fun that would be!

And Zach is pretty hilarious right now...when he's not dropping a load in his underwear, that is. Yea, he's still doing that even though we had a great success of him sitting and doing it on the potty. Stubborn little thing. Scott asked him the other day how much he loved Daddy and he quickly said "20!" Hee hee. And then this morning as I was leaving to go to work I bent down to give Daddy a kiss at the computer and Zach got in the mix of us and said "I love you so much, Mommy and Daddy." So I said "we love you too, buddy" and he says "yea, I love you guys." (insert warm fuzzy feelings here) What a kid!

Little Miss Lilly is REALLY enjoying the outdoors. When she decides it's time to go out she goes to the coat closet, grabs her aqua blue Crocs and brings them to me along with her coat all the while saying "I go owside. I go owside." This kid absolutely LOVES going down the slide too. She waddles her diaper butt right over to it, throws her chubby leg up onto the wrung and up she goes. She doesn't wait for help either. She just heaves herself down and smashes at the bottom with a laugh. Fearless, I tell ya. Oh, but don't tick her off. She has a scream that can break your eardrum.

Three kids is STILL a lot to handle, but every month it gets easier and easier on us. It's nice to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

4) I DO think that when you have a baby, each one should also come with a Dyson. I honestly am in complete shock and awe by the amount of crumbs these kids trail around the house. Crumbs and little pieces of paper and bits of stuff EV-ER-Y-WHERE! It's maddening. But I press on..Scott and I both do. We wipe, we sweep, we dust, we pick up...and ten minutes later we have to go do it in another room. And to think...one day we'll miss it all. Or so I hear.

5) Thank goodness Khloe Kardashian is on the show Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I was watching last night and the show was about how she was going to work with a PETA campaign. I'm not all supportive of getting naked for any good cause, but the that's what the deal was with her...her body image/dealing with being naked in the media. I guess she was getting comments about being a gorilla or amazon woman next to her sisters. Oh yea...well, if she's a gorilla then I'm a monkey's uncle. People please. she's just as gorgeous as her two sisters and I, for one, am glad she is the build that she is so that I (a regular sized girl) can identify with SOMEONE or SOMETHING on that show. I could totally see me being the cocky, outspoken, tough sister. You go, Khloe!

Alright...enough randomness from me. Have a great week, friends!

Coochie Cream

Let me insert a little earthly girl reality here, right on the heels of all my spirituality stuff. See...you just never know what I'm gonna say at any given time!

Do you wax *down there*? Do you do the "daily shave" or are you au natural?

I have a friend who for Valentine's Day decided to surprise her hubby with a freshly waxed Vag. Wow. Now THAT'S love! Am I right, girls? Just thinking about melted wax, muslin strips, thick coarse pubic hair and my sweet vag all in one sentence makes me want to curl into the fetal position. But she did it. My friend did it and oh boy, was her hubby EXCITED.

Okay, so I'm not real down with going to a salon and having it done, but I'm looking at myself *down there* and thinking...yea, a little vag-scaping might be in order.

I asked the gals at work awhile ago if they did regular maintenance and was SHOCKED to find that I was the only bush in the room. Apparently there is this cream out there called Coochie Cream and they use it to do their daily shave. I guess I missed that girl memo somewhere along the line.

So I figure I'll just use some Suave, a razor and trim up the kitty.

Uhhhh, hello itchy razor bumps, daily maintenance and prickley sensation while walking and bending down!! Yeee-ow!

So, after a week or two of this mild self-imposed torture I've come to the conclusion that I am neither paying a woman to painfully wax my coochie area nor painfully shaving the heck out of it. I'll just take care of the stray bikini spiders and call it a day.

To all of you fine women who are stronger and/or more capable than me in the vag-scaping, my hat is off to you. I'll be the hairy one over here. Hey, maybe I can start a new trend of vag hair maintenance...dye it a pretty shade of pink...put a bow in and voila!

Family Worship

Do you or did you worship as a family at home? We don't. I, for
one, would like to start doing something as a family. I think with the
ages of our kids though, eight, four and one and a half, it might be kinda hard
finding something that works as a group.

I was just reading the book Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted
Tripp. Okay, okay...I've been "reading" it for like half a year now, but
it IS a good book every single time I pick it up. I just get distracted
easily. *wink* So, in this book he's talking about Family Worship and here
are his thoughts on it. I thought them interesting and wanted to share
with all my peeps who have younger kids.

The practice of family worship is a means, not an end. It is a means
to the end of knowing God. The name of the game is not daily family
worship per se; it is knowing God. The end is knowing God. A means to employ in
reaching that end is family worship.

You need family worship that connects with your children and
their lives. You must be creative and flexible in assuring that your
family worship serves the shepherding and nurturing tasks
we have outlines above.

Reading the Proverbs daily is of great benefit to children (and
adults). Our daily practice was to read one-third of a chapter of
Proverbs before school each day. This was a rich source of wisdom and
encouragement for our children. We have seen them learn and then later
internalize the principles in this practical section of the Word of
God. The Proverbs serve as an owner's manual for life. Proverbs
confronts a child with every aspect of true spirituality.

When our children were little, we would read Old Testament passages and act
them out. I have been Goliath (with help of a chair). We have hidden
in caves (under the table) with David as he ran from Saul. Reading some of
the Psalms pf persecution in that setting made them come alive for our
children. One day, we packed our things and set out on foot, talking about
Abraham who left Ur not knowing where he would go, only knowing God would go
with him. We tried to imagine walking away from our home knowing we would never come back again. We tried to imagine not knowing where we would
go.

Why do all this? For this simple reason: to make the Bible truth live
for our children. Always remember that the goal of family worship is
knowing God. When you lose sight of that goal, family worship becomes an
empty ritual. You need only read Isaiah 1 to see how God feels about empty
ritual.

What a good idea, right? I can just imagine Scott with a towel wrappedaround his head secured with a rope of some kind pretending to be from the Old Testament. Hee hee hee. I think we're gonna give it a try and it's gonna take me getting out of my comfort zone and being 100% okay with being silly and childlike. I think that's a great thing about being a parent. You get to act like a kid and live life through their eyes whenever you want to take that golden opportunity. Pretty awesome!

I Want God To Be My Rockstar

So, I've realized a few things this past week. A few things that the Holy Spirit is working on me with and are a tidbit painful. To tell you the truth, these aren't new things that I've learned; I've had to come to realize them before, but in a different way.

Most of you know that I come from a split family situation. My mom and dad were never married to each other, just two souls coming together to bring forth new life. Yay me! My dad moved out to Wyoming and started his life there with my step-mother and they had my little brother. Here I am 31 years old and I STILL struggle with the fact that I don't have my dad around. A majority of my life I've held my dad at this rockstar status, kind of untouchable, always wanting to be near him but couldn't. I often have dreams of him showing up at my door or just walking up into whatever I was doing in the dream. It always takes me by surprise and I get distinct feeling of thrill and excitement in the dream.

In late Fall/early Winter I was going through one of those "gawd, I just want my dad" spells and at the same time he was going through some rough stuff where he was. So not only was he physically unable to reach me, I think he really didn't have it emotionally to give to me over e-mail or phone. Frankly, I was spiritually dry, dry, dry at that time too and was unable to see through my own personal feelings. I did not take it to the Lord AT ALL, but rather sat and sulked and brought up every reason why I should just give up the whole relationship. Oh, I had all kinds of self-righteousness going down. Looking back on it...it's embarrassing and I hate that.

Now this isn't to say that my feelings aren't valid, I just acted out of emotions instead of rationally. Look, I miss the crap out of my dad and it will probably take a long while to work through all my "daddy issues", but I can see now that I need to just let it all go into God's hands because frankly, I'm messing it all up. I know that my dad is a regular person just like any of the rest of us. I am trying to get him out of this elevated status that my child's mind has put him in and really know that he's fighting his own battles, can't change history and probably longs to be with me just as much. I know now that I have been trying to shove the two of us into this pretty, perfect box and every time we didn't fit (which has been all my life) I'd throw a hissy fit and whine (either outloud or have an internal pity party.) "It's not fair that he's alllll the way out there and I'm here! I just want a dad to hold me! Why don't I have a dad around to call when things go wrong or I need advice? Boo-hoo-hoo"

The truth is...I do. I have a heavenly Father who is more than enough for me and can be relied on no matter what. I've had my focus on what I think I'm missing out on, instead of taking it for what it is and letting God fill in the gaps. I had to learn that with my relationship with my husband too. I was consistently flinging jealous attitude his way. If he was gone too long or spending too much time out of the house (tennis, work, etc) I'd throw a cold-shoulder his way for a day or so. I finally got some quiet words inserted directly from above that clearly said "he'll never be enough for you. You'll only find your everything in Me. I can give you everything you need and more." It didn't happen overnight, but I did let go of those jealous feelings and came to fully trust my husband. He had earned it afterall, but my history with men had told me that they eventually leave or do something hurtful to me, so be sure to keep a guard up. The Lord took that wall down for me, filled in those gaps and glory be to Him b/c my marriage is stronger than ever right now.

So what I'm getting from all directions right now (Scriptures, talking with wiser older women and that quiet voice inside) is that I need to look to God as my Rockstar and let my Dad be a dad. Our relationship may never fit into a pretty box. We may never live any closer than 1400 miles. I may have to be content with a purely phone relationship and any possible visits we may get in over the years. But most importantly, I need to lay all these issues I have DOWN, back the heck away and let God work it to fit whatever shape he wants it to be.

In the meantime I will have to wait and see if my stubbornness has closed the door for good.

What's Going On

Scott has been working and healing all Winter. He sprained his ankle on the tennis court in November and hasn't seen any good tennis action since. He's been in physical therapy three days a week and recently got the okay to mildly jog and has gone down to PT two days a week. Overall I think it's healing well albeit very slow. He's also healing from some wild stomach virus/our bad eating habits coming to head. Honest to goodness, we still eat pizza (frozen usually) once a week and we've been eating out a bit more lately due to birthdays, convenience and/or laziness. Anyway, for the past four or so days he'd been complaining that his stomach was queasy and he couldn't eat. We chalked it up to too much junk food, but then Sunday night/Monday morning he woke me up making this godforsaken sound clear from the downstairs bathroom. Oh, and let's not forget the foulness he had to burp for 24 hours. My gawd, it was like a tiny corpse was rotting in his stomach!

Now, let's pause and really get the effect here. My husband hasn't puked since he was in high school and was very proud of this fact. Whenever he'd get a bellyache he'd declare it, but then quickly add that he would not puke since he'd not puked since high school. So about 2am on Monday morning I'm in the inky black abyss of lovely sleep and suddenly I jerk awake to this noise that sounded like a goose being acutely choked. And I'm telling you...it.was.loud. God love Scott. He was downstairs trying to just get himself to puke but apparently his body has been SO out of practice he couldn't even gag himself into vomiting. Did you hear that he had not puked since high school? *tongue in cheek*

So I jump out of bed and run downstairs to make sure that, in fact, a goose was not being choked inside my house, to find my poor husband vomiting his toenails up into the bathroom trashcan. I felt so horrible for him and that I couldn't do anything to help. And you know the last thing you want when you are like that is to have company. I did try to help and keep him company but for the sake of his dignity I went back to bed and I think he made it back upstairs about 5am. The morning light brought a mildly better day for him healthwise but I still don't think he's 100% yet. He lost five friggin pounds just over night.

As far as I go, I think I'm hanging right in there. This Winter is starting to take it's toll on me. I'm so over being stuffed inside the house, not being able to take a nice long walk. I'm ready to play out front and sit on the back deck. Eh, but what's the use complaining? Everyone else feels the same way and we got another two months at least. I'll just be dreaming of warmer, poolside days of Summer!

Spiritually I feel like I'm waking up again. I joined a women's Small Group at church and these ladies are really, really neat. They are all older than me, except for my friend Karynda, who is younger than me. These ladies are all more consistent and wise in their own ways and experiences, so they are just what I need in my life right now.

Scott and I are doing well in the ol' marriage department. We've never really had too much issue between us anyway, but since he's been home more (due to not being able to play tennis) I feel like we're a tighter family. I'm still thinking about what we possibly could do for our ten year anniversary this Summer. A long beach vacation looks to be out of reach for us, but something more local might be cool too.

Life seems to have come to a place where we're good. We are surviving the economic downturn - thanks be to God. My kids are all healthy (aside from the yucky viral bugs that keep creeping in on them) and happy. In fact, this post has gone on waaaay too long. So I'll update on the kids tomorrow!

May You Be As Blessed By This As I Was

I Know We're Fireproof But Sometimes My Girl Tude Gets The Better of Me

Okay, so I've read a couple books in the span of my almost ten year marriage and I get it...men and women are different. Yea, yea..he's a clam, I'm a crow bar. He's from Mars and I'm from Venus. The love tank is empty and in order to fill it you gotta find his love language. Aye-Aye-Aye! I get it...we're different.

I also get that men can be pretty dang dense in the lovey-dovey department, especially after we get married. Why bother buying the cow flowers after you've already married it, right? Uh, hello guys? You buy the damn flowers because you want your sex tank filled and because you want your underwear lovingly folded in your drawer, as opposed to crumpled and half wet in the dryer for two days. But I get it already, a guy usually needs it spelled out for him. "Honey, I'm feeling a little low in the love tank department and my love language is gifts, so you need to get your toosh up off the computer and get me something pretty or suffer the consequences." Not too hard. I don't mind being blunt with my man.

So, here it is February 2009 and I can count on one hand the number of times in the past year that my husband (who cannot claim ignorance) has bought me something without being solicited, brow beaten or let off the hook (i.e. I buy my own gift.) And I'm a simple gal, I don't NEED expensive presents...make me a card, send me a free e-card, fold me up one of those origami cranes...heck, I'd take a nice cup of coffee from somewhere that rhymes with Arbucks on your way home.

Every stinkin' month I go through about a three day spell where I feel all mushy and wish the guy I loved would make me feel special, and I inevitably tell him and he inevitably takes note of it and tucks it neatly in the "deal with it later" pile in his brain.

So, I sit on this post for a day or so...just enough time to let the Holy Spirit do a little work in me. If had just hit send on this, most likely I'd have just made my hubby feel all crappy and like why bother giving me any dang thing. We sat down last night and watched "Fireproof" together. At the beginning we were both thinking "okay, here we go with the cheesy acting *rolling our eyes*" but we sat and gave it a fair chance. And surprisingly this was a really good movie. Honestly, it was a really good interpretation of how men and women argue and think, and I really like the idea of a 40 day challenge. At the end of the movie we just sat there with each other, hugging and I swear a tear or two fell, but we were both in complete agreement that the marriage covenant we have is FULLY intact and healthy. We also both agreed that it's high time that we both grow up spiritually. We've gotta do some soul housekeeping and just get over ourselves thinking that we can do it later. Later has come and it's time to be humbly obedient to God's call for us to be close to him...no matter what time it takes, no matter how sensitive it makes us, no matter what it costs. It's time.

And I really believe that as we get closer to Him, He'll bring us closer to each other. How can we go wrong with that equation? We're already pretty darned close, so closer is only gonna be better! If you haven't seen "Fireproof," go rent it. It's worth the time.

The List

So it's near the end of January here and I wondered this morning about my list of things that I wanted to do/stop doing this year, and just how I'm doing so far. A little housekeeping of the soul, I suppose. So just how AM I doing?

Well, I can honestly say that I have cut the chocolate chip milkshakes out (whether they were chocolate yogurt or not, doesn't matter.) I did have ONE the day after Abby got her braces on, but I've been very good since...as far as chocolate chip milkshakes go anyway. Actually, Scott and I have put each other on a diet. We decided together that by our Ten Year Anniversary in July we'd both like to be fifteen pounds lighter. At fifteen pounds lighter that would put us both just five pounds heavier than we were when we got married. Unfortunately neither one of us has really worked out regularly lately. Scott's been banned from running and all tennis (except the Wii *wink*) until his ankle sprain heals. I've just been 100% lazy. We did move the treadmill into the finished room in the basement so that we'd have access to music and TV while working out, so that has helped. I've lost a whole measley pound in like two weeks. So, needless to say, it's time to buck up in the workout area. :)

Okay, so that was working on #3 and #11. I am trying!

#13 - drink less coffee and more water is going half way well. I've cut the coffee down to one or two cups of sugarless coffee a day. And that's good! I was drinking a full pot throughout the course of a day and had it loaded with sugary creamer. I guess since I took the sugar crack out of the coffee, it's taken the fun out of it, hence drinking less. Drinking more water is another story. I just haven't tried - but I will.

#12 - seeing Zach fully potty trained is just a dream at this point. He still has NO desire to sit on the toilet, any toilet...and we now have witnesses to Zach's turds being on the floor. God help us.

OH! I did have lunch with Abby at school one day (#8), but it hardly counts because I had to drop off Tylenol for her achey teeth and I only stayed at the lunch table for about five minutes. It was enough, however, to make me see that it's easy enough to do and I look forward to bringing her some Chinese soon. Maybe I'll cross that one off early next month.

And last, but not least for now...I kinda did #9 - volunteering to do something I have never done before and am uncomfortable with. Kinda. It counts b/c I've never actually bought a washer and dryer for another person and I was uncomfortable with it b/c the gal was my age and clearly having a very difficult time. We had to come into her house and set up this used washer and dryer only to find that the washer did not work. For almost a week I fretted and worried over this situation, wondering how in the world we were gonna make this right and better for this gal. And in the end, just as soon as I laid down my princess crown and tantrum attitude and let God have it, it all had worked itself out. It was just some loose wiring and a guy friend had to just tighten them up to make the washer work correctly. I don't see it completely fitting the mold of what I had intended when I made the request for myself b/c it's not entirely out of my comfort zone to buy something for someone else in need. I enjoy that, actually. I think I'd like to keep that one on the list to see where else I might be able to stretch this comfort zone of mine.

So, all in all...not too shabby. I haven't given up or forgotten. Hmmm...I'm off to go Googling for a sexy school girl outfit. Gotta keep #10 in mind! *wink*

Being Still in the Midst of Trial

Okay, here is what I've learned about stressful situations. When you are in the midst of a trial or stressful/sticky spot in life and you're really unsure what to do, how to fix it or how to react...be still and calm. Don't do anything that will bring undue attention. All things resolve themselves in time and when it is all said and done, you want to be able to look back and say that you handled it gracefully and not with a big, huge whiney temper tantrum. Oh, and being joyful is a choice. Happiness is a result of external things, but joy comes from the inside; from a place that is unseen by eyes and that God filled with Himself when He walks into your life. Joy is always there; an eternal cistern that never runs dry. When life is just too chaotic for words we can draw from this well of joy, knowing that pain, frustration and this earth are only temporary, but His peace, His love and His kingdom are forever and promised.

We're in the middle of this thing we've taken on and we're still very happy to see it through to the end because we know it's going to help someone else out a lot. The thing is...it's not working out at all like I wanted it to. Now, the devil would just love to steal the joy right out of this errand of God, but I refuse it. I have a choice right now. I can stomp my foot and whine, hoping that things get better. OR, I can pray about it, telling God that I know He's bigger than this hitch in the plans, ask for some help from a few friends and wait for the god-sized plan to work itself out.

In the end of this, I want us all to look back and see God's graceful and merciful movement in our situation and NOT my will, my tantrum and my lack of faith.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Oh...I don't wanna poo anymore

Okay gals, let's have a little girlfriend chat here. Ya know, the kind you have with only your BEST girlfriend that always includes the nitty gritty details you wouldn't dare tell anyone else. Except I'm gonna put it all out there for the world AND my best friends.

So, I have poopie issues. Anyone who knows me well, knows I go days on days without pooing and then suddenly I have to poo and it takes me the whole Columbus Dispatch, a roll of TP and a plunger to finish the week of no poopie hell.

Yea, its' gross, I know it. It's how my plumbing works. So like or lump it.

Seriously though...I was working on day SEVEN of no pooing and my gawd I knew there was half a bowl of that Velveeta cheese and sausage dip stuck in there. It just had to come out one way or another. So I figure I'll try some of this dieter's tea that my mom gave me. I'd tried it in the past and it worked, so why the heck not. I steep a hot cup of this Asian loveliness and wait for results. About, oh I'd say six hours later, I feel a rumble and make way for the bathroom with great anticipation. Take care of business and I'm feeling pretty good. Another day goes by and I'm feeling all achey in the abdominal area and I'm like, I'll give it another go with the tea. Only this time I steep the tea way too friggin long! Yea. I get all sidetracked with a kid or something else and fifteen, twenty minutes later my tea is dark and barely warm. So I take about four good swigs off of it and dump the rest.

Okay, here's where it gets interesting.

About TWO hours later my intestines start making this rumbling and vibrational noise that I can imagine Old Faithful makes right before it blows. Beads of sweat start forming on my brow and I immediately know I'd better make it to the bathroom and fast.

I make it. Don't worry!

But let me tell you what...I had to endure that feeling/noise and dart to the bathroom FOUR MORE TIMES in the next hours. By the third time it felt like I was wiping with a cactus. And by the end of this session my butt was aching and burning, crying out for mercy. My gawd, Woman! WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?

You know how you take a really hard poo and it takes you awhile to walk again, like two minutes of just standing there waiting for the burn to subside. Oh yea, that was me. Except it was more like five minutes and I was doubled over the sink with my head on my folded arms and I was swaying trying to take my mind off of my butt.

And then, even when I could walk again, it took another two hours and two Tylenol Extra Strength for the swelling and aching to stop. It literally felt like someone shoved a boot up my toosh and back out again.

Alright, so why share all these gawd-awful details with you? I share this with you, all my lovely friends and internetty-people to spare you the horror. For the love of all that is holy and sacred in this world, DO NOT drink Tru-Slim dieter's tea that has been steeped too long after you've had a week's worth of backlogged poopie. Your anus will never forgive you and I will surely be pitying you and saying "I told you so."

Bring on the Braces

Today marked two big events. First, it was the first day of our year or so of orthodontia. Abby got the spacers put in today so that next week she'll be able to have a little wiggle room for the braces to go on. Yay! She was all too excited to get this day started because in her second grade mind braces are cool and a big attention getter. :) Can't say I blame her. I always wanted braces and glasses while I was in elementary school. And actually, I went so far as to buy a fake pair of eye glasses and wear them as if they were real. My eighth grade school picture documents the embarrassment.

The second big event was the first big draw on our bank account for the said dentalware. These little stainless steel beauties, complete with your choice of color bands, are costing Mom and Dad a mere $6400. Oh yea...spank me, baby! $3200 for each round. She'll have the braces on for a year to a year and a half, then they'll put in a retainer until the remaining eight baby molars fall out. Then the next round will begin around the age of 12 or 13.

Actually, the money isn't a big worry in my mind...although that IS a crapload of money. The biggest worry about the whole thing is me being the involved Mommy Brusher and making sure she takes care of her teeth/the braces. Not to mention the whining if any pain or discomfort is involved. This child throws herself on the floor whining when we simply request she go brush her teeth in a normal circumstance...let alone having metal in her mouth rubbing her cheeks, having to wear headgear while she sleeps and actually having to pick crud out of her braces. So this should be real fun.

I do have faith in Abby and I am really excited to see what difference this makes in her smile and appearance. It wasn't until today when I saw all the pictures they took of her and her mouth, that I REALLY got a good look at her. I guess when you are with someone day in and day out you tend to gloss over anything that might be askew with their appearance. I mean, I had noticed that her teeth were kinda crooked, but not until today did I get a full sense of what she looks like to other people. And God love her, she's a beautiful girl...she'll ALWAYS be beautiful to Scott and I no matter what, but I can clearly see now the need for the braces.

So...stay tuned for more updates on this. Like when I have to kick the sh*t out of some punk who calls my pretty baby girl Metal Mouth or something equally mean and makes her cry. *polishing my brass knuckles*