Mrs. Baker, we need to talk

So I go pick up Z-man at school and of course, I'm nervous. Obviously he didn't soil his shorts or I'd likely have gotten a call, so that's cool. I walk into the "Turtles and Mice" hallway - Zach's a Turtle and I find that comical for obvious reasons - and see that every child has a big, wet, red circle painting under their name...except Zach. *sigh* Oh no. I get to the door and the teacher calls Z from his spot in the circle and he comes running to me. Yea, Mommy! I said "I didn't see a painting from Zach and was wondering about that." Her faces twists as she sucks air between her teeth, "Uh yea, Mrs. S would like to talk to you about that. Um, just come in!" Uh-oh. I have visions of Zach timed out in the quiet corner for pouring out red paint or maybe he's brushed out a big red penis or vag? It really could be anything with Z.

So I step inside and teeny, tiny, cute Mrs. S begins, "Well, we were all painting and here the kids HAVE to wear a smock (she grabs this ugly homemade vest that is made of a vinyl table cloth and holds it up), but when I tried to put it on Zach he just simply would not put it on and kept running away from me. So, we were just wondering...has something happened to him, some sort of trauma or does he have a fear of putting things over his head that we need to know about?"

Uh yea, we usually torture him daily by making him wear seriously fugly art smocks so I guess since he has a choice in your class he's just saying hell no.

She was so cute and concerned that it was really hard holding back my need to burst out laughing. I just chuckled a little and said "No, no trauma or major fear that we're aware of." Her eyes were still pleading with me for an answer and I can only imagine the wild chase scene that our turkey of a son sent her on. I just kept reassuring her that it was just as odd to me as it is to her, but honestly I know Zach and he's not the kind of kid who wears costumes or hats, let alone a seriously fugly art smock. I'd like to hope that he'd just do it to be compliant, but he's not that kind of kid.

So I offered to bring in one of his Daddy's shirts, as I've seen him put on the notorious grey T shirts and walk around proudly. The deal is that he wears a smock or else he doesn't participate in the painting project. So - we'll try. Otherwise he just gets to use the markers on construction paper.

Damn, I was hoping to test my skillz by carrying Lilly on my left arm, hold Zach in my right hand AND juggle wet paint art projects. Oh yea, they send them home THAT day, not when they are all dried.

So...needless to say, this should be a really funny and fun school year for Zach, the totally sweet teachers AND for Mom.