The Sweetest Thing My Husband Ever Did

As my dear husband rushed out the door this morning to his never ending list of stuff to do for other people, I realized that we need some alone time again. A flood of memories came back to me, like the first time we met...friends introducing friends. He was a dorm room neighbor of the guy my roommate was head over heels for.

So the exchange was quick and I immediately thought he was cute. And God as my witness, I watched him walk out the dorm doors, down the walkway and when he turned back to look...I flipped him off. WHAT?! Even as I did it I wondered to myself, "Christy, what in the heck did you do that for?! Now he'll never talk to you again." It was totally in jest and he knew it too, but I thought for sure he'd never want to look at me again. LOL And I was partially right, he wasn't interested in me, he wanted my best friend. So began our journey.

Flash forward a few years and we're still in college, Junior year for me. I was living in an apartment with my best friend away from the campus, totally on my own. There was no cafeteria to run to and if I didn't pay rent then I didn't have a place to live. It was awesome! Except, can I just say this now? IF you are going to live with your best friend, split everything down the middle...your half, my half. We thought, in the beginning, that it would be okay to share groceries. It turned out that it wasn't a great idea after all, and most anyone would tell you that. You never go into business with friends b/c someone inevitably feels they are doing more of the work and that they are not getting the fair share of the bottom line. Long story short, I messed up and we ended up splitting our groceries.

I was mostly going into debt there b/c everything I needed had to go onto the credit card and my meager pay from the library wasn't going to cover everything I needed. So the day came when I was flat broke and had no groceries. My side of the cupboards were pretty sparse and I was waaay too proud to ask my roommate for anything. I called Scott in tears of frustration, mostly upset that I couldn't do things on my own. My mom and I were estranged at the time, so there was no option to call home for help. Over the phone, he comforted me and told me everything would work out okay.

An hour later he knocked on the apartment door. When I opened it up, there he stood with bags and bags of groceries on his arms. OH. MY. GOSH. What a sweetheart! He came in and laid the bags on the kitchenette counter and I just started bawling. I was so thankful and so humbled. He loved me. He had taken the time and money to go buy me a whole load of groceries so that I'd be taken care of. I know I fell deeper in love with him at that moment.

I am a very self-reliant person, I think. To a fault almost. I think I can do everything on my own and I've really had to wrestle with my pride over the fact that I am in a submissive place, being a homemaker. Scott is very aware of this fact and consistently assures me that I have nothing to worry about, that he respects me for staying home with our children and that he will take care of us. But even in my own position I feel like I have to take care of it all to the very best and I always fall short. I am constantly running up against this standard I've set in my head. I should be able to do all of "this" AND be beautifully manicured AND be thin AND have a square meal on the table at 5:15pm AND have well behaved children. I should be able to do it ALL on my own.

But the fact is...I can't. And more than that, no one expects that from me but me. It's a false standard that I've set in my mind of what others would expect from me. I also don't believe that God wants me to do it all on my own. I can't. I'll inevitably crash and burn under the weight and heat of list of things to do for other people. There is a scripture reference that just came to mind, the one where Jesus is praying to his Father in front of a crowd of people and is also telling them that "no one comes to the Father, but through me" and then he reaches out to their burdened hearts. All those people who were standing there, all with the same sin and burdens as the rest of us today. And he says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I, for one, am going to find rest in that. Do you ever feel like the list is never ending, the demands SO big some times, too much for too long? I know I do. Turn to Him who can give you the rest for your soul. He's not gonna take away the To-Do List, but he will take the heaviness of the yolk you carry and lay his peace on your shoulders so that you can effectively and with clear sight do the tasks at hand. Anything done in only your strength is nothing compared to something done in His strength.

And to Scott, thank you for the blessing you gave me so many years ago in that tiny kitchenette as my boyfriend. And thank you for the blessing of your help, love and protection every day as my husband.