Alright - the last kid is sleeping for the moment. I stand here in the kitchen surveying the damage of what I KNOW I cleaned all day long. It's really exhausting to stand here looking at all of this knowing that I have to clean it up once again. Papers, socks, dishes, toys, crumbs, coats, clothes, hamster poop in the basement, bathroom sinks need wiped down, laundry piling up again, car needs swept and cleaned out, trash needs taken to the curb, toys all over the back yard. It's simply E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G. This doesn't even include all the exhaustion of dealing with a three year old and an eight month old all day long, and nights too (yep, she's back to waking up.)
Okay, I cried and feel better now.
Off to shamelessly eat chocolate chip cookies with Scott. Hopefully will sleep well tonight! Sure wish I could grasp onto that hopefulness I had this morning. I suppose tomorrow will bring a fresh dose of hope and energy.
P.S. Somehow the clock is off in my computer, so NO, I am not making posts at 4:00am. I did realize yesterday that my clock was set to PST and so changed it, but apparently it did nothing for the blog or email time stamps. Do not be deceived by the crazy time stamps! :)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Another Day
Well, nothing all too exciting to post about yet today. We had two successes in potty training yesterday, and about eight failures. I only screamed about the first one. It was kinda shocking to see him standing on the carpet, pee dribbling btwn his legs. Eek! And then of course there was a surprise in the underwear too, which he accidentally stepped during removal. It was quite disgusting! Sorry I shared that tidbit...tmi for sure. :) Anyway - he's sitting on the potty right now waiting for something. He has a potty picnic going on actually...breakfast in his bowl and a cup of water too. I took a pic but I think it may be too much nude boy for the www. :)
Why is it that scales ALL weigh differently? At the doctor - I'm three pounds heavier. At the YMCA it's at least two pounds lighter than here at home. If the Y scale is to be believed and I have only followed the weight loss on that one, I've lost twelve pounds since really starting the workouts. I haven't really changed my diet, so it's all been sweating and metabolism change. Since the kids started getting sick right before Easter I don't think I've worked out more than a week total, but thankfully there's been no change in weight. I'm actually two pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight, which is lower than my first goal, but about four pounds from my second goal (which I hope to get to by my Ninth Wedding Anniversary in July). The actual number doesn't bother me too much...it's still heavier than I was when I got married, but the fact that I can see shape change and feel my clothes getting looser makes me feel AWESOME. On that note, I'm going to go get my tennis shoes on and prepare to go to the Y after I drop Abby off. I tried to go workout last night and the parking lot was overloaded, not one parking spot to be had.
Lord,
I praise you, Father, for all that you are and have been to me. You have guided me from birth and looking back I can see your hand at work. I trust you. I have faith in you and your power in my life. Thank you for how sweet and safe my life is right now. Even as I prepare to go to a workout I know that nothing is for sure, but you. I know that at any minute my life could change dramatically and for the worse, but I have faith in you. I trust that no matter what happens you are at work in my life, changing me, molding me into the daughter you want me to be. I pray that I will see the lessons behind the challenges and be quiet, strong and dependable. Bless my life today, Lord. Bless my family members and friends with what you have for them and answer their prayers. Draw near to us all and bring those that are away from you, in a valley spiritually or weak so close that we can feel your breath on us, that we can feel your heartbeat in our lives. You are worthy of our love and so much more. Remind us that our security is in you and not in the economy or in the hands of a presidential nominee. Admonish me and those in need to SAVE our money and be thankful good stewards of what you've given to us. Urge me to be giving even when it feels outside of my comfort zone. And even as my children grate on my tired nerves, please Lord give me whatever I need so that I can be a loving, gentle parent. I love you. Through Jesus' name...Amen.
Why is it that scales ALL weigh differently? At the doctor - I'm three pounds heavier. At the YMCA it's at least two pounds lighter than here at home. If the Y scale is to be believed and I have only followed the weight loss on that one, I've lost twelve pounds since really starting the workouts. I haven't really changed my diet, so it's all been sweating and metabolism change. Since the kids started getting sick right before Easter I don't think I've worked out more than a week total, but thankfully there's been no change in weight. I'm actually two pounds lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight, which is lower than my first goal, but about four pounds from my second goal (which I hope to get to by my Ninth Wedding Anniversary in July). The actual number doesn't bother me too much...it's still heavier than I was when I got married, but the fact that I can see shape change and feel my clothes getting looser makes me feel AWESOME. On that note, I'm going to go get my tennis shoes on and prepare to go to the Y after I drop Abby off. I tried to go workout last night and the parking lot was overloaded, not one parking spot to be had.
Lord,
I praise you, Father, for all that you are and have been to me. You have guided me from birth and looking back I can see your hand at work. I trust you. I have faith in you and your power in my life. Thank you for how sweet and safe my life is right now. Even as I prepare to go to a workout I know that nothing is for sure, but you. I know that at any minute my life could change dramatically and for the worse, but I have faith in you. I trust that no matter what happens you are at work in my life, changing me, molding me into the daughter you want me to be. I pray that I will see the lessons behind the challenges and be quiet, strong and dependable. Bless my life today, Lord. Bless my family members and friends with what you have for them and answer their prayers. Draw near to us all and bring those that are away from you, in a valley spiritually or weak so close that we can feel your breath on us, that we can feel your heartbeat in our lives. You are worthy of our love and so much more. Remind us that our security is in you and not in the economy or in the hands of a presidential nominee. Admonish me and those in need to SAVE our money and be thankful good stewards of what you've given to us. Urge me to be giving even when it feels outside of my comfort zone. And even as my children grate on my tired nerves, please Lord give me whatever I need so that I can be a loving, gentle parent. I love you. Through Jesus' name...Amen.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Extra, Extra ... Read All About It!
In the excitement of removing the bottle from his life and possibly potty training soon, I picked up a few pairs of Lightening McQueen Underoos for Zach. I also bought a big bag of Smarties as bait (er, I mean rewards.) We told him that he got half a roll for trying and a whole roll for actually going. Last night he tried to go but nothing happened. This morning he woke up mad b/c the diaper we put on was ''broken", which just means the tab came loose. So right there in the bed I pulled the diaper off and excitedly told him that today we'd have to wear big boy undies and try the potty. He objected at first..."No Mommy, I don't like underwear. No underwear!" I didn't detour. We went straight downstairs, first tried the underwear then relented and warned him not to pee on my floor. He could smell the bait (uh, reward I mean) and asked for some candy. I told him only if he really tried to go. Bless his heart! He spent the next five or so minutes trying to convince himself as he stood against the potty that it was coming. "Here it comes! Do you hear it!? Isss com-ming!" He gave up and so I gave him the half roll leftover from last night and he toddled off to watch cartoons. Next thing I know he's in the bathroom trying again...candy ran out. So I begin making my pot of coffee - ignoring him so he can do his thang. I remembered his sippee cup sitting there, handed it to him saying that sometimes drinking can make you pee-pee. He took it and I walked away. Then I hear water trickling, which I can only assume from history that he's pouring his cup of water into the toilet. "NO, NO ZACHARY! Don't pour the water in the potty!" I said as I ran to the bathroom. Lo and behold, as I turned the corner, HE'S GOING PEE IN THE POTTY!!!!!!!! "Look Mommy! I go pee in da potty!" he exclaimed. I did the full pee pee dance in the kitchen (don't ask - it looks totally stupid but the kids think it's funny), slapped him high five, handed him TWO Smarties (I got so excited) and convinced him to wear the underwear. We then called Daddy and Gramma to tell them all about it. :) I'm so happy for him. He finally saw and felt what it actually is to go in the potty and hopefully this is the beginning of the end of diapers for him. I know from experience that there will be accidents and plenty of night time diapers/pull ups, so I know it's a way off still that we're totally done. BUT I'm still very excited to be in the process.
Also, as a side note. I have to take this moment and acknowledge that my husband may have been right. Okay, okay... I was wrong. Dang it! Ever since the weather broke I've been pining to have the canvas put up on the gazebo so that we could go sit out there and enjoy the weather. In my defense, it WAS 80 degrees the other day! So anyway, Scott hasn't wanted to put it up b/c this particular gazebo is no longer in production and so we cannot buy a replacement canvas should this was get torn or ruined somehow. So he wanted to not put it up until we were sure that the last frost came and went, so as to save any undue stress on the canvas. Oh - pish posh - I kept saying! Don't be a wuss - I kept saying. It's not going to frost again - the weatherman said so. It's been raining for two days here in Ohio and what do I wake up to this morning? Scott standing at the head of the bed saying "it snowed." DOH! Like a true "bigger person" he didn't say a word about the gazebo canvas although he must have been thinking it.
So... "Sorry Honey - you were right." *putting paper bag over my head*
Hopefully it won't bother the material much at all. I'm off to check the weather, although my faith in the weather man is seriously lacking. Hoping for a warm up today or tomorrow!
Good Morning, Father!
Thank you for the submissive heart you have created in me and that I can readily admit when I am wrong. You know that I don't take criticism well at all, but once I get over myself I can easily see that I was wrong. Thank you for the lesson of humility and my hope is that when I do feel humbled, I can the next time remember that I don't need to run my mouth and CAN save myself the humiliation by just being quiet. Even if the other person is completely wrong I can better serve my friend, myself and you by being quiet and letting the lesson come on it's own.
Today I ask for my daily ration of blessings from you. I know they are there, ready to be given and I ask and accept them. I pray that my patience will be long with my children and that today I will take the time to just sit/play with them, instead of worrying over what is to be done. I pray for all of my mother friends out there that need more of You today to deal with their situations. I ask that you meet them right where they are, give them clarity of mind to deal objectively with the demands of them. Please let them feel the Holy Spirit around them, encouraging them, praying for them. Draw them near to you with reminders of reading your Word, which is where we get to know exactly who you are. I ask that for myself too. I miss You. Make me the mother, wife, daughter and friend that YOU want me to be. I submit to You and I trust You. Be with my husband today as he goes about his day. Bring him honor in the workplace and let his work be fulfilling to his heart. Teach him gently about slowing down and making time for You as well. Woo his heart so that he also craves You. Please allow all of this study material to sink into his brain, that he would truly understand the concepts and pass this last exam. I thank you for him, Lord! Amen.
Off to get the girls up and begin the day! Hope you all are well and blessed today!
Also, as a side note. I have to take this moment and acknowledge that my husband may have been right. Okay, okay... I was wrong. Dang it! Ever since the weather broke I've been pining to have the canvas put up on the gazebo so that we could go sit out there and enjoy the weather. In my defense, it WAS 80 degrees the other day! So anyway, Scott hasn't wanted to put it up b/c this particular gazebo is no longer in production and so we cannot buy a replacement canvas should this was get torn or ruined somehow. So he wanted to not put it up until we were sure that the last frost came and went, so as to save any undue stress on the canvas. Oh - pish posh - I kept saying! Don't be a wuss - I kept saying. It's not going to frost again - the weatherman said so. It's been raining for two days here in Ohio and what do I wake up to this morning? Scott standing at the head of the bed saying "it snowed." DOH! Like a true "bigger person" he didn't say a word about the gazebo canvas although he must have been thinking it.
So... "Sorry Honey - you were right." *putting paper bag over my head*
Hopefully it won't bother the material much at all. I'm off to check the weather, although my faith in the weather man is seriously lacking. Hoping for a warm up today or tomorrow!
Good Morning, Father!
Thank you for the submissive heart you have created in me and that I can readily admit when I am wrong. You know that I don't take criticism well at all, but once I get over myself I can easily see that I was wrong. Thank you for the lesson of humility and my hope is that when I do feel humbled, I can the next time remember that I don't need to run my mouth and CAN save myself the humiliation by just being quiet. Even if the other person is completely wrong I can better serve my friend, myself and you by being quiet and letting the lesson come on it's own.
Today I ask for my daily ration of blessings from you. I know they are there, ready to be given and I ask and accept them. I pray that my patience will be long with my children and that today I will take the time to just sit/play with them, instead of worrying over what is to be done. I pray for all of my mother friends out there that need more of You today to deal with their situations. I ask that you meet them right where they are, give them clarity of mind to deal objectively with the demands of them. Please let them feel the Holy Spirit around them, encouraging them, praying for them. Draw them near to you with reminders of reading your Word, which is where we get to know exactly who you are. I ask that for myself too. I miss You. Make me the mother, wife, daughter and friend that YOU want me to be. I submit to You and I trust You. Be with my husband today as he goes about his day. Bring him honor in the workplace and let his work be fulfilling to his heart. Teach him gently about slowing down and making time for You as well. Woo his heart so that he also craves You. Please allow all of this study material to sink into his brain, that he would truly understand the concepts and pass this last exam. I thank you for him, Lord! Amen.
Off to get the girls up and begin the day! Hope you all are well and blessed today!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Back to the Roots
I was at the Y today with my friend Stacey and we had this interesting conversation with a group of older folks (I'd say 60's and maybe older.) This gaggle of older women padded into the hot tub after their arthritis class and one lady in particular was chatty. I can't even remember how we got to talking about kids, but I boldly asked them "so tell me ladies, how did YOU discipline your kids?" It was almost too funny b/c they all started chiming in and at the same time two older gentlemen joined us and chimed in too. At one point we had three conversations going at once, all the older folks saying "oh when my kids were that little ...." It was very cool! I've come to realize that I've been waaaay too scared of really getting control over my children. Oh I want the control but I'm not too crazy about the work/pain involved in getting it. I'm emotionally parenting my kids, afraid that whatever choice I make will be the wrong one or that it'll be uncomfortable for either myself or my kids. I KNOW that Scott is right when he says to put Lilly in her crib for awhile when she's inconsolable by me, but I'm afraid to. I've done it here recently and within minutes she's asleep or finds a toy to play with. So what happened here? I've created the monsters!? It is looking that way, but I also refuse to beat myself up. Every day is a new day to try something new/better. I watched a DVD loaned to me by my neighbor Christina. It's called "You're a Better Parent than you Think!" It's hilariously insightful and I wish I had watched it years ago. He talks about taking back control as a parent or gaining it from the get go. I can't even go into all the great tidbits I learned from it, but if you are still in the parenting years, esp the early ones...check out www.drray.com and get this DVD. It's worth the money!
A few things I jotted down so far:
I've just come to realize that parenting is not for the faint of heart. You have to have balls of steel and not be afraid of your child. I think that's why fathers have better return on their discipline. They don't get involved emotionally. I was talking to Stacey about this today. We both discipline and then when our seven year olds stomp off to their rooms, we sit and project how "they must feel." Is she totally crushed up there? Was I too rough? Did I do it right? Was the offense REALLY all that bad or worth the punishment? Gah! It's complete emotional warfare. I think we're learning though. I feel more confident after watching that DVD, talking to my mom and also with friends. I'm so thankful that I have other mothers to do this parenting thing with. I'm also thankful that I don't have any naysayers in my corner. Oye! Almost time to go get my oldest from school.
Quick prayer:
Thank you Lord for all that you've been teaching Scott and I as parents. Thank you for the friends and family you've positioned in our life so as to lend advice and parenting tools, especially Christina and John at this moment. I appreciate them especially because they continually look to you for strength and guidance, and I can see self discipline in them. I crave that, Lord. I really want to be strong and dependable in all that I do, but especially in my relationship with You. Right now God, you know my heart, you see it all...I'm weak spiritually. I've not been seeking you out at all and I can feel it in every area of my life, and especially in my parenting. Lord, forgive my distance from You. I want to be back in your arms again where I find strength, acceptance and daily guidance again. Wrap your arms around me Father and pull me in close. I want our quiet time again and I will seek you. I will look for You and your blessings today as I love and guide my own children through their day. You are worthy of so much more than I ever could give you. I love you. Amen!
A few things I jotted down so far:
- We discipline children because you cannot teach morals and values without it.
- You cannot second guess yourself and wonder if you're doing the "right" thing psychologically or else you lose confidence in your parenting.
- Know and live the core reality: I am the Mom and you (the child) are not.
- Ask yourself "what am I trying to teach them - what morals or values?"
- The rules of disciplining a preschooler are easy, it's the repetition that'll kill you. You have to be prepared to say and do something 50,000 times before it sinks in. e.g. The child will say "thank you" for receiving a treat or else the treat gets taken back.
- Be bold in your parenting even while others criticize you.
- Parent with ACTION not with words. Wordy parenting becomes loud, nasty and ineffective.
I've just come to realize that parenting is not for the faint of heart. You have to have balls of steel and not be afraid of your child. I think that's why fathers have better return on their discipline. They don't get involved emotionally. I was talking to Stacey about this today. We both discipline and then when our seven year olds stomp off to their rooms, we sit and project how "they must feel." Is she totally crushed up there? Was I too rough? Did I do it right? Was the offense REALLY all that bad or worth the punishment? Gah! It's complete emotional warfare. I think we're learning though. I feel more confident after watching that DVD, talking to my mom and also with friends. I'm so thankful that I have other mothers to do this parenting thing with. I'm also thankful that I don't have any naysayers in my corner. Oye! Almost time to go get my oldest from school.
Quick prayer:
Thank you Lord for all that you've been teaching Scott and I as parents. Thank you for the friends and family you've positioned in our life so as to lend advice and parenting tools, especially Christina and John at this moment. I appreciate them especially because they continually look to you for strength and guidance, and I can see self discipline in them. I crave that, Lord. I really want to be strong and dependable in all that I do, but especially in my relationship with You. Right now God, you know my heart, you see it all...I'm weak spiritually. I've not been seeking you out at all and I can feel it in every area of my life, and especially in my parenting. Lord, forgive my distance from You. I want to be back in your arms again where I find strength, acceptance and daily guidance again. Wrap your arms around me Father and pull me in close. I want our quiet time again and I will seek you. I will look for You and your blessings today as I love and guide my own children through their day. You are worthy of so much more than I ever could give you. I love you. Amen!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
It's AAAAALL bwoken!
Hi. My name is Christy and ... I'm a parent of a bottle-holic. Yes, yes...please save your rotten fruit and judgments for later. We have let our son drink milk from a bottle WAAAY too long according to some standards. Zachary just turned three in April and still, up until last week, drank from a bottle many times a day and at night. Last week we finally took it away during the daytime and only gave it at bedtime. To be completely honest, we really didn't see much wrong with it. I know there are complaints out there of possible dental or ear issues, but thankfully we've not had any of those. Soooo...now that I am done explaining myself to the world. This morning Scott was cleaning the aforementioned bad parenting tool and his finger went right through the nipple. He looked at me with surprised and said "uh, oh." Yep - it was broken...our last bottle/nipple. Okay, well...no time like the present! We told ourselves that when this one was done there'd be NO MORE and so here we are. We made very sure that he had no nap today and was thoroughly exhausted for bedtime. A few times today I made sure to remind him that it was "bwoken" and we'd have to use a cup tonight at bedtime. So - 7:30 rolled around. I had him pick out a book, filled the Diego cup up with water and he oh so willingly went up to bed. I read the book, covered him up and said "okay. Night-Night!" Then the dramatics began. Throwing himself around and screaming "No bedtime!" I had to throw him in bed twice and finally walk out on him. It took him about ten minutes of crying, throwing things around, oh and Daddy went up with a threat of a spanking. VOILA! No more bottles for him!! It is finished! Next? The diapers! Oh, what a beautiful day to have yet another child bottle-free and potty trained! I can hardly imagine. :) I guess before I get all excited I should see how the next few nights go. What a great week! Lilly has slept through the night four nights in a row and now no bottle for Zach. Is it Christmas in April?
Update: Zach woke up about Midnight crying his eyes out. He didn't ask for the bottle, but he was seriously having a hard time getting himself relaxed and back to sleep. Scott or I would go in every ten minutes, just enough time for us to fall back asleep and then BAM he'd scream again. Scott HATES that b/c it gives him a terrible headache to be woken up several times like that. I hate it too but mostly b/c I was afraid he'd wake Lilly, which he did. So he was up from about Midnight to One am and then Lilly woke up. His hour was not near as bad as we feared and I know neither of us is looking forward to a repeat tonight. Hopefully he figures out a self soothing technique soon. It's funny though - here I thought I'd be all strong about this b/c I knew was too old to have it anyway. I was the one laying there thinking "Oh, just give him a bottle. Just put water in it or something." Thanks be to God that Scott didn't even mention it b/c I surely would have cracked. Now that we've gotten through the first night there's no going back, so I feel better. *yawn* Where's my coffee, though?
Update: Zach woke up about Midnight crying his eyes out. He didn't ask for the bottle, but he was seriously having a hard time getting himself relaxed and back to sleep. Scott or I would go in every ten minutes, just enough time for us to fall back asleep and then BAM he'd scream again. Scott HATES that b/c it gives him a terrible headache to be woken up several times like that. I hate it too but mostly b/c I was afraid he'd wake Lilly, which he did. So he was up from about Midnight to One am and then Lilly woke up. His hour was not near as bad as we feared and I know neither of us is looking forward to a repeat tonight. Hopefully he figures out a self soothing technique soon. It's funny though - here I thought I'd be all strong about this b/c I knew was too old to have it anyway. I was the one laying there thinking "Oh, just give him a bottle. Just put water in it or something." Thanks be to God that Scott didn't even mention it b/c I surely would have cracked. Now that we've gotten through the first night there's no going back, so I feel better. *yawn* Where's my coffee, though?
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Picturesque Day
It's been a beautiful, sunny Saturday so far. We were woken up by Zachary calling for us, but when Scott got up to get him from bed he wasn't in his room. Scott came in the bedroom and said "Where is your son?" I jumped right out of bed! He was in the corner of Abby's room playing with something. Thankfully we heard him and went looking - it's scary to think he could have gotten downstairs and messing in something he shouldn't have been. We usually have a gate in his doorway, but about three weeks ago we decided to try it without. I'm thinking it's best if we keep it for now. At least this way we'll hear him leaving his room. He can open the gate no problem, but it's a pressure gate so it makes a clanging kind of noise when it releases. *sigh* He's growing right up on us.
Speaking of which, I hate to jinx us, but I think we're turning a corner. Lilly has slept through the night three nights in a row now. She also was being super fussy yesterday but refusing to nap while nursing, so I just got frustrated and put her in her crib. Scott's been telling me to do this since month one, but I've been too much of a wuss. She cried for about five to seven minutes and then nothing. It was nice. We're weaning her a little bit more too. I think she takes in more food and formula than she does breastmilk, so that might be helping too (to feel more full and content.) She also, the past couple days, has sat and played quietly on the floor without me. Scott even came in today and asked where she was, then said how nice and quiet it is when she's calm. Here's to hoping!
I did some rearranging today. I moved the couches back to where they originally were and pulled the big square coffee table back into the living room. Then Scott moved the rocker recliner over into the front room. We're thinking about posting it for sale on Craigslist, but I'm not yet sure I want to get rid of it. I kinda like it in the other room. What is it about rearranging furniture that makes you feel like you have bought something new? I feel all contented when I look in and see all the space opened up. It also makes me want to organize something else. Feels good! I also got the HUGE piles of laundry put away in our bedroom. Now I have all this floorspace and the room feels like it grew. Woohoo. LOL If we can JUST keep it that way. It's mostly my fault b/c I run clean clothes up there but don't usually have the time to put it right away, and I dump it on the bed. Then by the time I get into the bedroom at night, I'm too pooped and plop it on the floor. Scott does it too. (If I'm going down, so is he! *wink*)
Zach got his first big "08 Boo Boo. He was running on the sidewalk, biffed and scraped his knee. He's a HUGE baby about it too. As he should be, at least for awhile. He refuses to let anyone touch it, medicate it, wash it, cover it - nothing! Every time he notices it he whimpers and when we tried to lay him down in bed he refused and whined about the boo-boo. When I went up to check on him, he'd fallen over to the side with both hands covering his boo-boo, totally sleeping. It was so cute. I should have gotten a pic. Today when you ask him about it he says "NO! It's my boo boo. It's owie!" LOL Too funny.
The day has been good but it's gone waaay too fast. It's dinner time - pizza from Papa Murphy's. Yum!
Hope your Saturday was as sunny and productive as mine!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Grieving on our street
Our neighbor died tonight. To be honest, I don't even know his name, which is shameful. I've talked to him maybe four times in the year or two that they've lived here but I saw him every day. He was the father of our neighbor actually. He and his wife moved in with our neighbors (their daughter) about a year or so ago. He was mostly blind and deaf, but most days he would bring the dog in and out, go sit at the local pool hall and take his 1pm stroll down the street. About two weeks ago my female neighbor came over and asked me to pray for her dad b/c he had pneumonia and while being x-rayed the doc saw a spot on his lung, which they later determined to be Cancer. The docs said he was too old/weak to take the treatments required and so they brought him home to die. So there has been a lot of in and out going on at their house. Today while I was out weeding the garden I heard a strange noise and Zach stopped in his tracks staring. The neighbor was sitting on her back steps just sobbing with her hands in her lap. I thought for sure he had passed, but she eeked out that Hospice was there and that they said he only had hours left. I went to her yard and hugged her. She just fell into my arms and sobbed, her body just shaking with each cry. I had no words! I just said "Father, please be with this family. Please, God, I have no words for her." She let go and said she had to go inside to be with her sons and talk to them about this. I've paced the house all afternoon/early evening, Googling prayers I could pray specifically for those who are dying, saying them (they were Catholic prayers, but hey - God hears 'em all, right!?) and just grieving for this family. About 7:45 the doorbell rang and it was our neighbors. There they stood with his hat in the wife's hand. He had indeed passed away and in her grief, she still thought enough about us that she wanted to come tell us for one, but she also wanted to make sure that our children were not out front or looking outside when the hospital (or whomever it is that does this) comes to get her father's body. How caring is that? *sigh* My heart just breaks for the wife of this man. It was the comment of hers that really stirred me up the most. She had said to her children over breakfast, after learning that he wasn't going to get treatment, that she's "known that man since she was an eighteen year old girl." It made me realize how precious my relationship is with Scott and how long WE'VE been together. I can't imagine living without him now, after thirteen years of being together. I know it's inevitable and no one knows the time of their death, so it could be any day, young or old we're all going to die. It's just the thought of letting him go out of my life. He's essential to me. He's what I think of first in the morning and I get to see him off to sleep every night. Not to mention all the life stuff that we share in between! So my heart sinks at the thought of that woman sitting over there just feet away from me, knowing her lover from youth is no longer. Knowing that she's going on alone and starting a new chapter of her life titled Widowhood.
I've never had anyone significant in my life die, so it's hard for me to really grasp what grief really feels like inside. I've been sad over losses that happen around me, but I have no idea what my neighbor felt as she put her body weight in my arms and groaned in fear/loss/sadness? My heart really does ache for this family though. I hope I can show them some support in some way in the coming days.
I know my neighbors have awesome faith in Christ. Their religion and how they practice it is a little different than my own, but we've on occasion prayed together and I know that the parents and their kids believe whole heartedly in Christ and in Heaven. I'm quite sure that the grandparents were right there as well. So no matter what I know that the Spirit is there comforting them while they grieve the loss of the relationship and yet rejoice in the new life their father is being ushered into.
Lord, please be with this family tonight and in the coming days. I pray that their choices will be easy as they lay their beloved to rest. I ask for your Holy Spirit to dwell in their house and comfort them. I pray for rest, sleep and renewal. I pray for a coming together of their family. I pray that your warring angels will be close at hand to keep the enemy bound away from this family as they are weak. I pray specifically against Depression...that their grief will be sufficient but not worn as a cloak or millstone around their neck. I thank you, Sweet Jesus, for your death on the cross and that you conquered death so that we will have new life with you in Heaven! What an amazing gift if grace and mercy! I pray that your son will be welcomed in, his name checked in the Book of Life and that you will be able to say "Well done, my good and faithful son!" Father, I love you. In Your Son's holy name, Amen.
I've never had anyone significant in my life die, so it's hard for me to really grasp what grief really feels like inside. I've been sad over losses that happen around me, but I have no idea what my neighbor felt as she put her body weight in my arms and groaned in fear/loss/sadness? My heart really does ache for this family though. I hope I can show them some support in some way in the coming days.
I know my neighbors have awesome faith in Christ. Their religion and how they practice it is a little different than my own, but we've on occasion prayed together and I know that the parents and their kids believe whole heartedly in Christ and in Heaven. I'm quite sure that the grandparents were right there as well. So no matter what I know that the Spirit is there comforting them while they grieve the loss of the relationship and yet rejoice in the new life their father is being ushered into.
Lord, please be with this family tonight and in the coming days. I pray that their choices will be easy as they lay their beloved to rest. I ask for your Holy Spirit to dwell in their house and comfort them. I pray for rest, sleep and renewal. I pray for a coming together of their family. I pray that your warring angels will be close at hand to keep the enemy bound away from this family as they are weak. I pray specifically against Depression...that their grief will be sufficient but not worn as a cloak or millstone around their neck. I thank you, Sweet Jesus, for your death on the cross and that you conquered death so that we will have new life with you in Heaven! What an amazing gift if grace and mercy! I pray that your son will be welcomed in, his name checked in the Book of Life and that you will be able to say "Well done, my good and faithful son!" Father, I love you. In Your Son's holy name, Amen.
Ahhh....coffee!
I'm mentally making a list of things through my life that when I get to Heaven I'll be able to look back at and say "yep, those were my fav-o-rite things back on Earth." Who knows if I'll even be able to do that, remember my life from Earth, but I think it helps me to really savor the things I love. Among the list is : fresh warm towels from the dryer, the smell of my husband's shirts, really burnt marshmallows (no chocolate or Grahams for me, please.) If coffee wasn't already on the list, it is officially now on my list. Coffee is such a wonderfully soothing thing to me. If I'm tired, if I'm sick, if I'm stuffed from a huge dinner, if I've had a bad day, if I want to enjoy alone time with my mother...it just makes life feel better. And the first cup of the morning is the best ever. That first sweet sip (yes, I like cream AND sugar) is the beginning of life for the day. I could have already done several things on my list for the day, the sun could be up for an hour, but the day hasn't begun until that first sip goes down. It warms the body from tongue to tummy and starts the blood circulating back up and down the body. Ahhhhh!!! It's really lovely. Isn't it amazing too that even a bad pot of coffee, if the circumstances are right (good conversation, no other coffee available for the first cup) is drinkable. I use to work with a couple guys who were military men. They drank their coffee with a spoon and their coffee cups had that brown barnacle coffee ring inside that proved they were "real coffee drinkers." One guy would fill the filter to the top with coffee, start the machine and then sit his cup under the tap so he could get the strongest cup out of the strongest pot. ICK! I still drank the coffee though. I'd usually half it with water and load it with my goodies, but I drank it. I'm actually in the process of converting my dear sweet husband into a coffee drinker. He's gone from an occasional hot chocolate to a daily cappuccino and I'm hoping to push him into full fledged coffee by the time we're retired. I wanna sit in our old rocking chairs together watching the sun come up with our crusty cups of coffee. If we're still coffee and cappuccino by then, I won't mind. So long as I have my old drinking partner with me - that's cool. *wink*
Alright - enough pining over the beauty of coffee. I must decide whether to ignore my wreck of a house (laundry is literally spilling OUT of the dryer onto the floor) and go workout (then come work on the laundry) ORRRRR forego the workout (and save GAS - what the heck is with $3.60/gal!?) to clean. At any rate I must go wake up the beast. We're already 25 minutes past and she's not up. Eek!
More stuff from me later....
Oh....the sunrise is beautiful today. Thank you for that, Lord!
Alright - enough pining over the beauty of coffee. I must decide whether to ignore my wreck of a house (laundry is literally spilling OUT of the dryer onto the floor) and go workout (then come work on the laundry) ORRRRR forego the workout (and save GAS - what the heck is with $3.60/gal!?) to clean. At any rate I must go wake up the beast. We're already 25 minutes past and she's not up. Eek!
More stuff from me later....
Oh....the sunrise is beautiful today. Thank you for that, Lord!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Random Stuff
The big news of the day: hubby got an awesome raise! Praise the Lord! He deserves it - really. He is SUCH a hard worker. He gives his work 110% and really loves what he does. So it's always great to be appreciated and given a raise. He's my big bread winnin' guy!
The next big new of the day: my shift button was fix by above mentioned cool guy! No more right shifting, which stinks to high heaven. On the down side, somehow a crumb WAS actually the problem (I'm gonna say it was Zach's fault *looking shifty*) but in the highly technical process of removing it with a steak knife, it somehow got stuck under the Function key and now that one is popped off. It looks a little ghetto not having the button there, but i know a guy who I'll bet can put it back on for me.
What else? Is anyone else completely dragging with allergies right now? I swear, every single plant and tree decided to bloom all at once around here and we're all headachey, sneezing, rubbing our eyes, super draggy, etc.
So far, so good today as far as the kids go. Zach and I started some marigold seeds this morning and hope to have enough to put out front. We need some color out there. Since we're always stuck out back with the kids the front yard totally gets neglected. I'm looking forward to when the young ones are grown enough to trust and to help us out. We've reinstated "Smackdown" in the house. Abby's been totally sassy and argumentative with us, and this past weekend she screamed at me to "GET OUT!" of her room. It was the straw, so to speak. So Daddy came up with the ingenious idea of "the chair." She gets one warning when she gets lippy with us and after that it's 30 minutes sitting in a chair upstairs in Lilly's room. She's seven and can handle it. It's totally boring and you know 30 minutes is like forever in kid time. The poor thing. I did feel semi sorry for her, but at the same time I knew it had to sting some in order for her to want to avoid it later. She wasn't in tears during it, as I suspected she would be, but she was near tears and wanted out pretty bad. *Gramma, no crying!* After 25 minutes passed I went up and talked with her, explained that we expect her to respect us by not using a sassy tone or arguing. I imagine the warning will be all it'll take for quite some time. We don't expect her to be perfect. We understand that at seven she has big emotions and that she's still figuring out who she is in this house, but she has to respect us. It's funny b/c just as much as she's figuring things out - so are we. Babies don't come with instruction manuals and our parents are sweet enough to lend advice without "telling" us what to do. Half the time, Scott and I are trying SOOOO hard not to crack a smile or laugh when we are coming down hard on Abby. That's not accounting for the frustrated moments when Mommy flips her lid and yells. There are NO smiles being cracked in the house when that happens. *putting paper bag over my head*
Zachary also gets his own brand of "the chair." He has to sit facing the corner for 3 minutes (more like two, if I'm telling the truth.) If he gets up or starts to fool around I get right behind him and threaten a spanking.
Well...it's Margarita time! My neighbor invited me over for a drink and Lilly is sleeping, so I'm outta here. :) Tomorrow's another day.
'Night!
The next big new of the day: my shift button was fix by above mentioned cool guy! No more right shifting, which stinks to high heaven. On the down side, somehow a crumb WAS actually the problem (I'm gonna say it was Zach's fault *looking shifty*) but in the highly technical process of removing it with a steak knife, it somehow got stuck under the Function key and now that one is popped off. It looks a little ghetto not having the button there, but i know a guy who I'll bet can put it back on for me.
What else? Is anyone else completely dragging with allergies right now? I swear, every single plant and tree decided to bloom all at once around here and we're all headachey, sneezing, rubbing our eyes, super draggy, etc.
So far, so good today as far as the kids go. Zach and I started some marigold seeds this morning and hope to have enough to put out front. We need some color out there. Since we're always stuck out back with the kids the front yard totally gets neglected. I'm looking forward to when the young ones are grown enough to trust and to help us out. We've reinstated "Smackdown" in the house. Abby's been totally sassy and argumentative with us, and this past weekend she screamed at me to "GET OUT!" of her room. It was the straw, so to speak. So Daddy came up with the ingenious idea of "the chair." She gets one warning when she gets lippy with us and after that it's 30 minutes sitting in a chair upstairs in Lilly's room. She's seven and can handle it. It's totally boring and you know 30 minutes is like forever in kid time. The poor thing. I did feel semi sorry for her, but at the same time I knew it had to sting some in order for her to want to avoid it later. She wasn't in tears during it, as I suspected she would be, but she was near tears and wanted out pretty bad. *Gramma, no crying!* After 25 minutes passed I went up and talked with her, explained that we expect her to respect us by not using a sassy tone or arguing. I imagine the warning will be all it'll take for quite some time. We don't expect her to be perfect. We understand that at seven she has big emotions and that she's still figuring out who she is in this house, but she has to respect us. It's funny b/c just as much as she's figuring things out - so are we. Babies don't come with instruction manuals and our parents are sweet enough to lend advice without "telling" us what to do. Half the time, Scott and I are trying SOOOO hard not to crack a smile or laugh when we are coming down hard on Abby. That's not accounting for the frustrated moments when Mommy flips her lid and yells. There are NO smiles being cracked in the house when that happens. *putting paper bag over my head*
Zachary also gets his own brand of "the chair." He has to sit facing the corner for 3 minutes (more like two, if I'm telling the truth.) If he gets up or starts to fool around I get right behind him and threaten a spanking.
Well...it's Margarita time! My neighbor invited me over for a drink and Lilly is sleeping, so I'm outta here. :) Tomorrow's another day.
'Night!
Addicted to Love
*cue slick haired, glossy lipped, sexy girls with guitars*
I'm sure of it now - my Lilly is completely addicted to me. I have been letting her cry a lot more which is soooo hard for me. I'm not the kind of mom who lets her babies cry it out in order to teach them to be autonomous, but Lilly is causing a big crack in my halo. If I put her down, even for a moment, she starts into a scream that can curl a dead man's toes. My mom would say that's karma coming back b/c I use to scream a lot too. *wink* If I put her into her piano exersaucer, she screams. If I sit her in the high chair with me right there in the kitchen, she screams. EVEN if I sit her down btwn my feet while I'm in the recliner, put toys in her lap...she screams. The only position that makes her happy is on my lap, normally facing me. So in an effort not to shake and scream at my child, I have to put her down in a safe place and just let her scream for awhile. I've tried wearing her in a sling/baby carrier, but she's so heavy (21 pounds) and likes to lean forward and down, that it pulls me forward too causing my back to seriously ache. It's not like I haven't tried other things...she just has to learn to be content playing while not on my lap. I have to get some freedom from her soon! I realize that she'll be eight months old next week and I've been away from her a total of maybe five hours. That's not healthy! It's not like Scott doesn't try...he does. She just doesn't like him too much and usually ends up crying/screaming, which really grates on his nerves too. I feel badly for our neighbors too b/c now that the weather is nice our windows are open all day and they have to endure the screaming too. She does like being outside some, so I slide her saucer out there and let her enjoy it or scream outside, whichever. :)
I do love that she loves me so much, but at the same time Momma needs a big break.
Some of her better attributes? She does have a smile to melt your heart! She's also learning to get around on the floor, can sort of sit up on her own and will scoot from one spot to another on her belly. She's grown two cute teeth on the bottom, can pick up and eat Cheerios, will wave on command and will babble a little, in between screaming. We're all looking forward to her getting stronger and learning to crawl. We hope that some independence will make for less screaming and crying.
*raising my cup of coffee* Here's to hoping!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Walking in Circles
For the first time in a long time, BOTH children are sleeping at the same time. I spent my morning here working on my list of things to do: paint kitchen table, pay bills, do laundry, create blog. I even spent time playing with my boy....cars, of course. Now I have free time to do whatever I want here in the house or yard OR do something I couldn't do with two kids around. What am I doing?? Walking around in circles like I have no brains or any idea of what I can do! It's like I have no idea what to do if I don't have a child in tow or begging for my attention. I have a whole list of things that need done around here, so I guess I'll tackle one of those. I could also just lay down and take a nap, but then I'll feel guilty about not spending my "free time" wisely. I also keep thinking I should wake Zach up b/c if he gets much of a nap at all he'll be up 'til 11:00pm or better. We're in the transition phase for him...to nap or not to nap? That is the big question.
Also, the left shift button on the laptop keyboard is not working. It's really annoying! I can't seem to make my brain tell my right pinkie to press that right side shift. I use the left one, realize it didn't work, backspace and retype. It's bogging me down. What's with that shift button? Is there a crumb under there or something? Where's that can of air when you need it!?
I'm rambling.... Must go find something productive to do. You know once one of the kids wakes up I'll be in panic mode again, verbally bashing myself for not doing such and such while I had the time.
Also, the left shift button on the laptop keyboard is not working. It's really annoying! I can't seem to make my brain tell my right pinkie to press that right side shift. I use the left one, realize it didn't work, backspace and retype. It's bogging me down. What's with that shift button? Is there a crumb under there or something? Where's that can of air when you need it!?
I'm rambling.... Must go find something productive to do. You know once one of the kids wakes up I'll be in panic mode again, verbally bashing myself for not doing such and such while I had the time.
Joining the Bloggers of the World
So, here I sit on my deck as my kids play and making my first blog post ever. My SIL has a blog and I've wanted to do this blog thing for awhile now, so here it is. It's CLEARLY still under construction and will change as the mood strikes me. What the point of my blog? Well, there really isn't one. I enjoy journaling and since I have a husband, three children, two dogs and a house to run I just don't have time to actually "write" in a journal. Isn't that pathetic! There's time to eat a pan full of brownies, watch Deal or No Deal, scrub the toilet...but no time to empty my brain onto paper through a pen. Well, typing IS faster than writing! So here is my attempt to pour out my soul, my daily thoughts/happenings and share my life with friends, family and lurkers. :)
You may be wondering about the title of my blog. Why "The Magpie's Song" you ask? Well...Blissful Chaos was taken. I thought a few minutes, as I was assembling my eldest's lunch for school, about what kind of title my life would have if I gave it one. Blissful Chaos seemed appropriate. It is chaotic most of the time and even in the midst of the craziest of moments...Scott and I look at each other and smile. It's usually Scott that says "yea, but we love it" or "it's crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing." So - it IS blissful even when I cannot actually see it as such. But, like I said, that title was taken. (blog interrupted by three year old pouring Mr Clean into the sink. *sigh*) Soooooo... my Mom has always said that she and I are Magpies (birds that are attracted to shiny things) b/c we both love sparkley things. SO I figured...I'm a Magpie and these entries are my songs. Voila! Real deep, right!? Hee hee.
Hopefully you enjoy getting to know more of me and seeing into my blissful chaos, Christy Baker style. :)
P.S. Forgive grammar and spelling!
You may be wondering about the title of my blog. Why "The Magpie's Song" you ask? Well...Blissful Chaos was taken. I thought a few minutes, as I was assembling my eldest's lunch for school, about what kind of title my life would have if I gave it one. Blissful Chaos seemed appropriate. It is chaotic most of the time and even in the midst of the craziest of moments...Scott and I look at each other and smile. It's usually Scott that says "yea, but we love it" or "it's crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing." So - it IS blissful even when I cannot actually see it as such. But, like I said, that title was taken. (blog interrupted by three year old pouring Mr Clean into the sink. *sigh*) Soooooo... my Mom has always said that she and I are Magpies (birds that are attracted to shiny things) b/c we both love sparkley things. SO I figured...I'm a Magpie and these entries are my songs. Voila! Real deep, right!? Hee hee.
Hopefully you enjoy getting to know more of me and seeing into my blissful chaos, Christy Baker style. :)
P.S. Forgive grammar and spelling!
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