Learning to be quiet

So, yesterday was quite a day for me. I found myself thinking "why don't I just BE QUIET and think before I talk?" numerous times throughout the day. Ever have those days? My mouth was just running away with me and I am sure I hurt the feelings of people I love. I think my mom may have been right years ago! I must like the sound of my own voice.

In the morning I was crazy, rushing around and trying to get out the door so we wouldn't be late picking up carpool and getting everyone to school. I was doing ten different things at one time - make-up, dressing the baby, feeding the older ones, drinking coffee, e-mailing and trying to pack a lunch for Abby. I had it all ready to put in the bag and couldn't find the bag. So I start yelling "where's your lunch bag?!" over and over. I grilled Zachary, quite sure that he'd run off with it so he could tote around his treasures of the day, but he swore he hadn't touched it. I had us all nuts looking for it and I finally grouched to Abby, "Well, you're buying today. I hope you like stuffed breadsticks because that's what you're having!" *sigh* I know, I know. Not nice. Later I found the danged thing in the dryer. Right where I put it because I had to wash it out and tumble dry it (trying to avoid mold.)

Man, if I just would have remained calm and found another way to pack her lunch, I could have avoided hurting her feelings and sending her off to school having been yelled at for something she did not even do.

And then last night Scott told me something that caught me off guard. Nothing bad, it was just something he was thinking of looking into and instead of letting it sink in or allowing him to point out the positive qualities of the plan, I got defensive, bratty and crossed my arms. I got quiet and did not want to talk about it, knowing full well that if anything came out of my mouth it would not be loving. And I was right. He got me to talking and I shredded the plan without fully thinking it out.

Not only that, I called my husband a liar right to his face and when he tried to defend himself I was shutting him down all over. And then I took one small second to actually think about how exactly the conversation went and what I'D said - he was right and I was wrong, and I was the liar. *sigh*

All in all I can hear God telling me to just BE QUIET. Don't move. Don't talk. Don't decide things based on my own feelings and impulses, but BE QUIET and listen to not only the people around me, but God. I need to make it more of a constant practice to ask God about all things - engage Him more in my daily life. "How should I react to this, Lord? Should I go ahead with this play date today? How can I be a stronger mother? can you guide me on spending our money wisely, Lord?"

I'm sure it would strengthen my relationship with Him and bless my family.

I did fully apologize to Abby for blowing her hair back unnecessarily and I have some work to do with my hubby. He's a forgiving man, but he's getting hit from all sides these days and a guy can only take so much henpecking before he just shuts down. So...here's to learning to be more quiet in life!