Last night I'm in the kitchen doing my normal thing, wiping down counters, dishes, etc. Meanwhile, Lilly's over in her high chair lookin' cute and grunting like a piglet trying to take care of some "business." I felt a little sorry for her, but knew she'd handle it and tried to get a few more things done before I had to go take care of poo duty. The thing was, she wasn't handling it. It was like five to eight minutes of grunting and her face was all red, so I took pity on her and got her out of the chair so she could go squat somewhere.
I grabbed her up, swatted all the Cheerios off her toosh and carried her into the living room. I somehow grabbed onto her butt/crotch area only to be met with smooshed crap. Guh-ross! Poo..was..on..my..hand! With her tucked under my left arm like a football, I ran over to the sink, washed it off and grabbed the diapering stuff. This poor girl had somehow wedgied the elastic leg of her diaper up into her crack and was trying to push a turd past the diaper. So it was half IN the diaper and half smooshed OUT of the diaper. Eew, right?
I decided to be the good mother and clean her up, but she's still grunting. Oh man, she's not done!? So I'm wiping poopy butt, all the while trying to maintain the poopy clothes inside the diapering perimeter AND keep it from smearing my hand again. Oh..my..goodness. Her toosh is actually smooching at me as I wipe it. Good heavens! Please don't spray poo on me, Lilly! I managed to get her in a clean diaper and sent her toddling off to a corner where I know she'd be glad to finish the load, and we'd begin this cycle again. Ain't motherhood grand!?
P.S. I can just imagine the ads that will pop up due to this post. Hopefully it'll be more for Cheerios and diapers than the other crap. *tongue in cheek*
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