Would You Rather...?

Scott and I use to play the game "Would You Rather...?" in which you offer up two completely heinous option and the other person HAS to pick one. The options would usually start out as gross things and eventually turn into totally gross people you'd have to choose to have sex with. Nice, huh? Not the moral high road at all, but it usually ended with us cracking up in laughter and tears.

So this weekend I'm at Barnes and Noble with my mom and brother, letting her pick out a few books for her birthday gift. By the by, she and I have polar opposite book taste. How is it that a mother and daughter could be so different? As we're checking out I gazed through the rotating rack of fat little humor books and found Zobmondo!! The outrageous book of bizarre choices. Ding, ding, ding...we have a winner! I grabbed it and started reading out loud the crazy choices. I gotta tell you right now...the last question you want an answer to from your mother is: Would you rather be caught by your mother masturbating OR walk in on your mother masturbating? Because the only thing more wrong than thinking of your mother's monkey is thinking of your GRANDMA'S! SICK, right?

We stood there for another five minutes, each of us weighing whether or not we'd rather have a tiny butt on our forehead or two little feet dangling from our chin, having a hell of a time laughing over these questions AND our own choices. So I had to buy it!

Here are a few of my favs so far. Have fun and don't hold it against me!

Would you rather:

1. Chew a piece of toenail off a dirty man's foot OR thoroughly lick his unshowered armpit?
2. Shave your Mom's bikini line OR your Dad's butt?
3. Be caught walking nude on a beach by a policeman OR have your horn get stuck while your car is behind a gang of Hell's Angel's?
4. Have your breath smell like a fart OR your laugh sound like a fart?
5. Immerse your naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches OR dive head first into a pool of chewing tobacco spit?