P.A.D.M

So you know how there is that group of moms called MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving)? I was driving along today with half of my body in the back seat of my van and thought "they should have an association against women like me! I'm an accident waiting to happen!" The name would be PADM (People Against Distracted Mothers.)

I'd say 90% of the time, unless I have the troupe dumbed down with a DVD and headphones, I am either reaching back into the abyss of shoes, toys, cracker crumbs, discarded craft projects and wrappers for some jewel of a toy that one of the two munchkins dropped OR I'm refereeing a battle between two of them. On more than one occassion, I've contorted my body such that I have my entire left arm and shoulder stretched back between the driver's side doors and seats reaching for a blessed empty bottle Lilly threw, fully knowing it would only buy me two minutes of silence, maybe three. Thank God for peripheral vision!

Either way, it's totally dangerous! I often wonder what the people behind me must be saying. I'm sure 1-800-CALL-DUI is being discussed on some occassions, and over what? A half eaten donut that fell on the floorboard? Actually, I banned food consumption in the car after Abby found maggots crawling in a grocery bag she was using as a backseat trash can. *gag* That's a whole 'nother post in itself - the massive amounts of crap we accumulate in our van. I know we're not filthy people and yet every other day I'm faced with some pile of gunk that needs Cloroxed or scoured.

If you are another Mom, take heed from my post and let the donut/bottle/precious toy/etc. lie there until you can get to a red light or safe place to pull over. If you are an innocent driver who finds yourself behind, beside or in front of my bright blue Mazda MPV - drive faster and farther away. Because quite like all the other distracted mothers who'll contort herself to get that named thing in the backseat all the while keeping one pinkie on the wheel and a big toe on the pedal...I will too.

Be careful out there!